It's like Poetry 2

So another song that the lyrics make me chuckle

From the album "Descent into the Valley of..." by The Planet Smashers I caught these guys earlier in the year playing with The Royals and they were pretty sweet. It's not the BEST song on the album (which is "the hippopotamus") but it's a good one.

Anyway the song is called "I'm ok if you want to Party" and I can't think of the number of times I've felt like this

Out in the streets the night is winding down
You say "it's ok buddy, we'll figure something out now".
I'm feeling content. I could call it and be done
Cause it's past last and we just finished our last round

But you just smile and wave away my concern
"We can't give up, or else we'll never learn"
So tonight must go on, on and on!

I'm ok if you want to party
We'll stay awake all night
Just like those kids in college
I'm ok if you want to party
We'll stay awake all night
Led by our beerful knowledge

It's well past 5 and this party is slowing down,
You say "it's ok buddy, I've got a plan for later on".
Later on? Really? There's still a later on?
Cause I was gonna grab a cab and get myself out of town

But you just smile and wave away my concern
"We can't give up, or else we'll never learn"
So tonight must go on, on and on!

I'm ok if you want to party
We'll stay awake all night
Just like those kids in college
I'm ok if you want to party
We'll stay awake all night
Led by our beerful knowledge

 I'm pretty sure we've all had nights like this
Love, Hugs and Kisses
ANt

I'll probably get blacklisted for this- Putin Facts

So for those of you that don't know, my current (and has been for the last 5 years or more) favourite political leader to read news stories about is Russia's own Vlad Putin. Not because I agree with any of his politics, simply because I find some/most (if not all) of the shit he pulls to sound like it should be coming directly from some form of James Bond/Jason Bourne script... or low budget airport techno thriller. What with his friends in business threatening the competition by invoking the Putin bogeyman and the posting of plutonium to people (not to mention that whole "poisoning the leader of the Ukraine" thing).

Seriously, read your news stories and the simpsons "That's what we wanted you to think" quote about the soviet union never disbanding doesn't seem that far fetched. What with the todays article about Putin wanting a Eurasian Union to form when he goes back to the presidency I think we may have missed the button pressing part of the gag.

But that's not the bit that amuses me the most however it's the media shots like he's superman or something... Both the fact that he does it AND that he gets away with it... The hunting, fishing, bear fighting, shirtless horse riding, finding of atlantis etc... It's like he thinks he's some sort of Iron Man... Much like the internet thinks Chuck Norris is... then it occured to me PUTIN FACTS... problem is most of them seem a little to realistic

1. Putin put the laughter into slaughter... on TV...
2. Putin got bitten by a cobra once... after five days of excruciating pain the cobra died... when asked why he simply stares at you... grimly... on TV
3. If it looks, tastes, smells and feels like chicken and Putin says it’s beef... then it’s beef... or plutonium... on TV
4. Putin doesn’t actually hunt on TV, because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure... Putin goes killing... on TV
5. Superman may own Chuck Norris Pyjamas, but Chuck Norris owns Putin Pyjamas... on TV
6. Putin doesn’t read books, he just stares till he gets the information he wants... on TV
7. The only thing that gets between Putin and Justice is an equals sign... on TV
8. Putin can strangle you with a cordless phone... on TV
9. Putin doesn’t play hide and seek, he plays hide and pray I don’t find you... on TV
10. If Putin pokes you on facebook you feel it... on TV
11. Putin doesn’t lie, he makes up truths... on TV
12. There was a Putin street, but the name needed to be changed... Noone crosses Putin and lives... on TV
13. Putin counted to infinity... twice... on TV
14. Some children piss their name into the snow... Putin does it into concrete... on TV
15. Putin built a snowman out of rain... on TV
16. The only time Putin has been wrong was when he thought he made a mistake... on TV
17. Putin likes to knit sweaters in his spare time... and buy knit we mean wrestle and by sweaters we mean tigers... on TV
18. Putin won Russian Idol using only sign language... on TV
19. How many pushups can Putin do? All of them... On TV
20. Putin once drowned a shark underwater... On TV

Seriously if you heard ANY of those on sbs news as Putins latest political stunt it would seem just as real as the stuff he does do... 

Love, Hugs and Slightly terrified kisses

ANt

ps I am totally not opening any parcels for me in the next few weeks... 'specialy not the glowy ticky ones

Super Powers

So this is flowing out of a couple of discussions I've had with people about "what super power would you have?" (shock horror that I've had that discussion) with a few people over the years.

Basically it comes down to a discussion of 5 powers for me with a pros and cons thing

I generally ignore all the super strength/fighty type powers, I wouldn't want them or use them given I'm not a very fighty type person. So none of those will really be covered, just the powers I like, starting with;

1. Invisibility- My favourite power and totally underused in comics. How can the bad/good guys stop the guy they can't see? Yeah yeah Wolverine could smell him or Spiderman has the spider sense thing... but seriously no faceless grunt could stop you and you could steal all sorts of stuff... And the potential for mischief is huge. But then you have the downside of just what can you turn invisible. Is it just you? Your clothes? Things you're holding? What if you're wearing/holding to much? Do you have to nude up each time you're going invisible? If so it's kinda losing the edge there.
2. Immortality- Think Ra's Al Ghul or the Highlander. Upside you don't die... downside everyone else does... Upside years to horde weath etc (there's a reason those guys are rich)... downside you have to "reinvent" yourself every generation which would have to be getting trickier. An extra personal downside for me was pointed out by my brother, my complete lack of an attention span would probably only get worse and I end up developing some weird international conspiracy to keep myself busy... but it would serve no purpose other than the extermination of Justin Bieber/Reality TV/whatever else I've decided I don't like that decade.
3. Super Speed- Again a favourite of mine, mainly because I like the flash. You'd be super hard to beat in combat because you're so much faster etc and the commute to work wouldn't be terrible. But the thing is, just because you have super speed people assume you have the implict super fitness. All super speed means is you run QUICKER not FURTHER. A 30km run to work is still a 30km run no matter the speed you are running... Sure you'd get fit, but you're still not going to swim the pacific (or run on top of it) not matter how fast you go...
4. Teleportation-  I do love Nightcrawler... And the ability to instantly teleport places would be awesome... However teleporting loses out massively in upside/downside. The assumption with teleporting are generally that you can't teleport into something (that would suck), you can do it to locations you can't see despite the earth turning however fast it turns blah blah blah and that you can teleport more than just yourself... Otherwise you'd arrive naked without any of your fillings... which would be awkward and ouchie... Solve all those probs and I'm all for teleporting, but I'll hold off risking it until that time...
5. Flight- I like flight, completely useless in comics but imagine being able to fly to work. And in the upside/downside discussion it has very few downsides. You don't have to nude up for it, you should be able to carry at least a backpack of stuff with you. You might not be able to go super high due to the oxygen concentrations but you could easily get a couple of hundred metres up and fly off to work... Fun... Definitely the power I'd end up choosing I think.

There you go, choose flight =P

Love, Hugs and Kisses

ANt

Terminator vs the Matrix

So having recently watched the Matrix trilogy back to back and then Terminator salvation it occurred to me just how similar they are in storyline... indeed they could almost be the same

I'm going to assume everyone has seen all these movies (if not this will make very little sense) but here's a brief rundown of the pertinent facts (adapted from wikipedia).

Terminator Movies
The central theme of the franchise is the battle for survival between humans and a self aware AI (Skynet). Skynet is positioned in the first film as a US defence computer system by Cyberdyne Systems which becomes self-aware and, on perceiving all humans as a threat, seeks to wipe out humanity itself. It initiates a nuclear strike against Russia (the first movie came out in '84 so the Russians were still a legit movie plot threat), ensuring a devastating counter strike and nuclear holocaust, wiping out much of humanity instantly.

In the aftermath, Skynet builds up its own machine based military capability, which includes the (movie namesake) Terminators used against individual human targets, and proceeds to fight a war against the surviving elements of humanity, some of whom have organised militarily into the Resistance. Then to complicate things even more at some stage in the future, Skynet develops the ability to time travel, and both it and the Resistance seek to use it to win the war by preventing or forestalling their present timeline.

'Judgment Day' is referred to as the date on which Skynet becomes self-aware and decides to exterminate. Due to the element of time travel and the consequent ability to change the future, several dates are given for Judgment Day during the movies. Terminator 2 (made 1991) gives the date as 29/8/97 (the future... woooo spooky). However, in Terminator 3 (made 2003) shows that the Judgment Day holocaust had been postponed to 25/7/04. In the TV show this was later delayed to 21/4/11 (so we missed THAT one too) due to the attack on Cyberdyne Systems in T2.

Complicated much? But the basic principle is pretty simple... Skynet is a computer system with AI, Skynet becomes self aware (alive), Skynet is bad and attacks people and people fight back. Skynet makes robots to kill people.

The tricky stuff is where the time travel comes into it... There are huge interweb debates/discussion about the paradoxes and various issues with the terminator timeline... but here is a reasonably succinct version. I do have a chuckle about when John Connor meets/sends Kyle Rheese back in time with instructions to protect his mum... "You need to go back and protect my Mum... by the way take these flowers... Dad" AWKWARD!

The Matrix Movies

Trilogy of movies between 99 and 03 (so entirely completed between T2 and T3). The series shows Earth dominated by sentient machines (AI), who have turned on humans and forced them into slavery. At one point, humans believed they could wipe out the machines by "scorching the sky," as they thought solar energy to be the only life source of the machines. However, the machines devised a way to extract the bioelectric and thermal from the human body (which is really not practical from a scientific point of view... but whatever I didn't poke holes in Terminator's science) by growing humans in pods connected by cybernetic implants to an artificial reality called the Matrix, which keeps their minds under control.
The virtual reality world simulated by the Matrix resembles human civilization around turn of the 21st century, chosen because it is supposedly the pinnacle of human civilization (and when humans "gave birth" to AI... can someone say Skynet?). The majority of humans connected to the Matrix are unaware of its true nature. Most of the central characters in the series know that it is not 'real' and as a result can partially bend the simulation's physical laws in order to perform superhuman feats within the simulation.

As Morpheus says in the movie "A singular entity that spawned an entire race of machines" (sounding like skynet yet? There is no mention in the movies of how the war started (in fact they try to emphasis the fact that the humans don't know who struck first) but I'm sure this is explained in all the extra stuff that has no doubt developed (but I haven't looked at). What is mentioned though that the machines are up to their 7th version of the matrix, inferring that this is 700 or so years AFTER the humans blotted out the sky during the war... Putting the year around the 28th Century (not 2199 as Morpheus believes).

My personal grudge with the matrix is a bit disconnected from this and centers mainly around the 3rd film ruining everything. First matrix pretty good, original and kinda kickass... Second matrix was less original but had more kick assyness (the fight scene in the weapon room at the Merovinigian's house is still a favourite). The third just kinda sucked... the whole Neo is just some combination of Jesus and a Cyberpunk Ninja who can control machines with his mind doesn't sit well with me. I would've much preferred if he was just an average man outside the matrix and part of the adventure was getting him into the matrix and keeping him safe while his does his thing in there... Basically I would've preferred that if instead of at the end of the 2nd film when Neo shuts down the sentinels it wasn't because he was Jesus... rather because the "real world" was simply another matrix designed to trap/control the rebellious ones (woooo layers upon layer upon layers Inception style). Then the third movie could've been them breaking out rather than some bibilical sacrificial showdown type thing... Oh well...

Anyway... back to this post
Terminator vs/is the Matrix
If you look carefully, nothing here outwardly contradicts anything else. The Terminator world (which is generally set in the next few decades... hundred years tops) simply evolves into the matrix in the missing 700 years or so between the films timelines (hopefully Skynet learns its lesson about time travel when John Connor became his own grandpa).
So your timeline would go

• "Mankind marvels at the birth of AI" in the 21st century (Matrix)
• Just not calling the AI Skynet. The date is undefined because of all the timeline screwing around and shifting in Terminator about the exact date Skynet becomes self aware and judgement day in the Terminator movies. (Matrix and Terminator)
• Nukes fly, general unhappiness (Terminator) (so machines shot first... just like Han... but that's another rant)
• Terminators built, war starts, terminator designs start to get more and more complicated and killy (Terminator)
• Eventually evolving over 700+ years from the humanoid shape of Terminator to the Squid style shape from the Matrix (how is that aerodynamic?) (Matrix)
• Events of the Terminator series, humans always seem to win however they can never seem to stop Skynet (Terminator)
• War with Machines (Matrix) and humans nuke out the sky to stop the solar power (Matrix). 
• Clearly after the events of the Terminator movies the machines switched to solar power, I guess Peak Oil is an issue to be considered even in Sci Fi movies... No more coal fired Terminators (FYI Arnie is TOTALLY a coal fired robot)
• Matrix is built and rebuilt and rebuilt for the robots to be able to power themselves (Matrix)
• 700 years of intermittent resistance coupled with an 1 in every 100 year ass kicking of Zion by the machines
•  Events of the Matrix Movies

The end... Boom

There you go, totally the same movies with even less stretching required than for Aliens vs Predators (which by the way is bullshit... aliens is in the future and Predators are drawn by heat and conflict... why the fuck are they fighting in Antartica... FUCK THAT SHIT)

Love, Hugs and Kisses
ANt

I'm Tom

So there was a slight unfortunate font/typo issue for our last song at Rhys' karaoke leg of his farewell...
Torn by Natalie Imbruglia... Or as we read/sung it "Tom"

It was a bit of a giggle, and changes the vibe of the song a little... as seen below (giggles in bold)

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around and he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Or seem to care what your heart is for
Well I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine I'm Tom

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already Tom

So I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there
And not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins
And now I don't care
I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch I'm Tom

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already Tom

Tom

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right I'm Tom

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is Tom (???)

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed
Bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late
I'm already Tom

Tom

Apparently being Tom is a bit tough...

Oh well, I had a giggle

Love, Hugs and Kisses
ANt

Comics, part 3

The "Rest" (aka smaller publisher stuff)

When I started buying/reading comics again it was finding smaller publisher stuff on the web that started pulling me in... So this topic is quite close to my heart. I was quite big on Devils Due stuff for ages there (and bought a fair bit online till their webstore and I had a "disagreement"). I can't remember how I got into Devils Due but I think it was through Tsunami Bomb (yeah that band I like). As best as I recall I found Tsunami Bomb in a random free mp3 search of the web in the early 2000s (or perhaps I was searching elsewhere and linked to them from another band?)... regardless of how I found them I think the next step was a Tsunami Bomb blog post or something like that to the fact that they'd got a reference in Josh Blaylock's new comic Misplaced (yes the same Josh Blaylock on my blogs I read list there --> )... Which I then checked out, and ended up buying and the rest they say is history...

So we will start this post with

Misplaced
Alyssa is from another dimension or something and can kick ass (very little is specified as to why). But the art is very pretty and the heroine is quite endearing in her naivety. It's a little bit of a standard "oh I come from a super obey the rules society and now I'm on Earth I can be free to punk up etc" story... but with the added bonus of crazy super powers and weird slug alien type things... and jetpacks!

The tattoo marks on her head are cool too...
One point of difference here is I actually have the comics for this not the graphic novel... I should get the graphic novel...

It also has a great line about drinking... Alyssa (bless her naive non matching socks) having gone to her first bar and having her first drink gets kinda drunk and quite enjoys it... Then a "frat boy fuck up" spikes her drink and she ends up booting after kicking everyone's ass. Lying back afterwards she says "I feel terrible, you know what I need? More Beer! That stuff made me feel great".

Dead @ 17
From Misplaced the logical segue is to Dead @ 17 (obviously due to the crossover "Misplaced @ 17" that they did about Alyssa and Nara moving in together.
Anyway once again this is a Josh Howard thing centered around a hot punk(ish) indy chick fighting bad guys with super powers (note the theme here so far)... The twist being this time said chick (Nara) has been killed and come back to life to fight demons and zombies etc... all the time struggling to pay rent and what not. Again the artwork is pretty kick ass (most of these smaller publisher stuff seem to have cooler artwork than what Marvel/DC put out).

Hack/Slash
Continuing the trend you find yet another "hot chick fighting bad guys comic" initially from Devils Due (but now Image or something). Tim Seeley this time is the dude responsible and somehow this comic was even adapted as a stage play.
Anyway this time Cassie is a hot goth chick who travels around fighting slasher killers (like the bad guys from dodgy b grade horror movies), all the time trying to pay rent and etc (damn there's that pattern again). Cassie works with Vlad (big scary guy who kicks the shit out of everyone/thing) and a few other people "backstage" who they saved... It's actually pretty cool with a bit more to it than the other two (maybe because it's been running longer) and it even comes with tender moments. Cassie isn't invincible and she gets stressed and even struggles with the fact she can't get a date... It's an interesting diversion from the standard buffy influence "hot chick kicks ass" story and definitely worth a read.

And the artwork is AMAZING...

Mercy Sparx
Josh Blaylock, Devils Due publishing, hot (demon this time) chick kicks ass... blah blah blah... Seeing the pattern?
Actually this one varies slightly from the pattern again, with Mercy being a demon hired by heaven (or is she... cliffhanger in the plot) to kick 666 types of shit out of rogue angels. Again the plot is ok, nothing amazing like Sandman or the like but the artwork is pretty sweet

Too Cool to be Forgotten
In a massive turnaround here is a comic NOT about a hot chick (as the main character) and NOT about ass kicking (especially not by the hot chick).
This story is about a dude sent back in time to his high school years and reliving things again... I guess that's nothing amazing but it's a pretty sweet story about getting closure (and quitting smoking). It's a pretty sweet story story I think most people could relate to (I'm sure we all wouldn't mind doing something different... although I did write a tentative post about "if I could do it again" and I realistically wouldn't change many things... just one thing...) and if you're still in high school maybe it'll make you think about things a bit differently.

Lost at Sea
Another comic featuring a teenage girl, however this time she's not kicking the ass of beings from hell/another dimension/undeath/etc, instead it's a sweet "coming of age" style story... about making friends and life and blah blah blah. It's by the guy who did Scott Pilgrim so the artwork isn't amazing, but the story puts me in mind of a couple of friends (whom I won't name here, but they need to read it).


Lost at Sea also segues nicely into the last comic I'll be writing about, Scott Pilgrim. But (perhaps unsurprisingly) this isn't all my comics, just all the ones I feel like writing about at the moment. Maybe one day I'll write a part 4 to this including some of the ones I skipped, but I'll just do a short list here for things you should look out for

• Johnny the Homicidal Maniac- Yes there is a lot of hype, I'm not sure it lives up to it all. The art is pretty crazy (so is the story to be honest) and if it wasn't for the fairly decent conclusion at the end I wouldn't be sold on this at all
• Ghost World- I remember loving the movie, the comic is ok but a slightly less "happy" story... pretty pics
• Madman- Insane... Lots of fun... he has a yoyo... that is all
• Invincible- Fantastic cross of superhero pisstake and superhero coming of age... read it

Scott Pilgrim
To finish up I thought I'd write about Bryan Lee O'Malley's more famous book series.
6 books (of varying quality), a kick ass (pun intended) computer game, a fairly shoddy movie and an awesome movie soundtrack mean that if you're reading this you probably should've heard of Scott Pilgrim.
The artwork is nothing special, there are some good individual lines and characters and a quite amusing central idea (the video game style escalating bosses, enemies turning to coins etc) make this something you should try and read. It's very accessible, but nowhere near as heart lifting as stories like Lost at Sea or Too Cool to be forgotten.

Anyway, rather than a blow by blow write up I'd just write about some of the things that bug me a little... some of you may know how horrifyingly emotionally involved I can get in this comic, I think mainly due to the fact it doesn't turn out how I think it should... It's taken me a while to work out why but I think it's because Ramona is a massive bitch, and Scott is a bit of a tool...
It's more obvious in the movie where Ramona and Scott can't act, and Ramona totally appears to not even like Scott making the movie about a pretty pathetic guy beating the shit out of a bunch of pretty cool guys to then go out with a chick that doesn't seem to like him...
Similar issues occur in the comic, but it's a bit more subtle. Basically Scott was a bit of a fuckhead in his past; see his relationship with Kim (beating up her bf, then moving without telling her), Knives (ditching her for a chick he didn't even know, and not even telling her) and even Envy Adams (yeah she was a bitch, but the fight she dumped him in he started).

Ramona is a bitch, but she at least appears to like Scott (at least some of the time) but she's pretty flakey any hypocritical... Getting angry at Scott for staying at Lisa's after she kicked him out, is a bit rough, especially given that she then had her ex stay over and they were making out.
ANYWAY, Avoiding those two main characters and you will find that the secondary characters are a lot nicer and you generally feel like it would be nice something good happened to them. Look at Kim or Steven Stills (although he does end up with that dude at the end)... Even Knives... Young Neil or Stacey... All those characters seem so much nicer than Scott and Ramona (admittedly Kim does keep telling Scott he's a dickhead... turns out she's right).
I think the thing that bugs me most is how Scott treats Lisa Miller. The artwork isn't amazing so it's hard to tell but she seems to be no more or less attractive than Ramona (maybe not as "hipster cool") but she was his best friend for years and they obviously like each other (more than can be said about Ramona) and when Lisa finally confesses to Scott he runs away to Ramona (who at the time DOESN'T EVEN LIKE HIM).

I dunno... frustrating... I guess it would've been a hard series to finish keeping it unexpected which is why the first few books are better than the later ones, but once again something you should read

That's enough about comics for now...

Love, Hugs and Kisses
ANt

Comics, part 2

The "mainstream"

So continuing from last time I figured I'd write about other comics, only this time just focus on the main marvel and DC lines. Of course rather than talking about individual comics like last time I'll be talking about characters in these "universes" on top of specific story arcs...

Starting with Marvel and their more commonly recognised stuff that I like... The Xmen... Who I like particular individuals in but tend to avoid the whole group just because it's confusing and to much happens. I never liked Spiderman, Ironman is a douche, Captain America is a SUPER douche and the Hulk just sucks (so I won't talk about them). I do like Mister Fantastic from the Fantastic Four, mainly because his advantage is being smart and not his power of being stretchy (on that note did we all notice the Incredibles basically just had the Fantastic Four's powers with speed instead of fire?). Another cool thing from the F4 is they introduced Galactus and the Silver Surfer. The surfer rocks, even if his comic is a bit "woe is me I'm marooned on a planet of savages etc"

So Xmen I like are Nightcrawler, Kitty Pryde and Archangel (interestingly 2 of those 3 where in Xcaliber). Nightcrawler is just a good character, you'd be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't like him (a blue skinned swashbuckler who can teleport was never going to fail), similar to Kitty Pryde (but with WAY cooler powers). Archangel however is up there with the coolest powers around, true he's kinda rubbish in a fight compared to most of them, but he's super fit (without any effort) and can FLY... Everyone would like that power. There are other Xmen I don't mind (Beast, Iceman, Psylocke etc) also but more important are the ones that are annoying... I won't go Wolverine bashing (it's not his fault he's over exposed), he was a good idea when he started, it's just the fact that every second character SINCE has been just a copy of him. Cyclops is a douche, 'nuff said there. Jean Gray is/was also annoying. Storm shits me to tears and wtf is the point of Jubilee?

Stretching from Xmen you get Exiles, I picked up a whole collection of their books from a mate when he moved back to the states. I probably wouldn't have bought them myself but they were a decent price and turned out to be none to shabby. Somewhat standard "traveling through alternate dimensions and trying to get home" plot that included Nightcrawler's daughter from another dimension, the good Sabertooth from Age of Apocalypse and Blink.
Funnily enough it was supposed to be a story removed from the main Marvel universe, but of course when any character begins to gain popularity they need to find themselves relocated to the main universe (as happened with Nocturne). It did provide Marvel another outlet for "alternate universe" versions of popular characters too, like the evil Daredevil and whatnot on the Weapon X team. All without having to go to that "what if" comic they used to do... plus if they proved popular *zip* over to the main universe...

Another "alternate universe" marvel story that's worth looking at is Marvel 1602, basically it's the base marvel universe in the 1600s, weird idea but works pretty well. But I think the main reason it works is NEIL GAIMAN wrote it (more on that later).

The Earth/Universe/Paradise X series is also more of the same "alternate timeline/universe" stuff that Marvel do so often (you think the terminator timeline is complicated, you should look at the marvel universe). Anyway in this one everyone has superpower (cool!) but noone can have kids (???) and there's captain marvel and the avengers are dead and the xmen have scattered and Peter Parker is exposed as Spiderman and blah blah blah... Interesting idea, just draws out for to long and gets way to complicated. Killing death and Galactus and all these other key godlike characters gets tricky but Fat Wolverine (how?), Deadpool/Daredevil, Female Thor and Loki being the only Asgardian who understands what is happening are all amusing though.

Finally we have my favourite character from Marvel... Deadpool... Now I hate to say it but I totally liked Deadpool before it was cool (I've even got one of his standalone comics from the 90s still... It was in a showbag). Essentially he started as a copy of Deathstroke from DC (costume, skills even weapons) but he slowly warped into a pisstake of the 90s "violent antihero" schtick (think Wolverine, Punisher and even more Wolverine). Basically he was in the same Weapon X program that Wolverine was in where he got given the stock  standard super healing power, but he had cancer and something went funny and etc etc... Basically he's covered in horrible scars and it's fucked his brain so he's batshit insane. The most obvious part of this is he knows he's in a comic and noone else does (he even answers his own letters page), so all the other characters think he's an idiot and don't understand him. He doesn't know what he's going to do next, so noone else can predict him and in the last few years (powered by the interweb) he's shot up in popularity to the point where he's basically in every comic Marvel do and his refreshing differences are now annoyingly everywhere... He's still funny, just over exposed (much like Family Guy).

Connected to Deadpool comes a comic character I've never actually read a comic of, but have read about and seriously wish I could get copies of their stuff... Squirrel Girl and the rest of the Great Lakes Avengers... I hate the Avengers, and the spin off West Coast Avengers just seem even more pathetic... But the spin off spin off Great Lakes Avengers seem quite amusing, someone dies in every issue and at one stage they met Deadpool and he moved into their HQ and wouldn't leave. He killed one of them for the remote. Google them for the full story.
Squirrel Girl is probably their most famous member, however she's a little bit all over the shop, her power is she can talk to/control squirrels and she has claws a tail and climbing skills and most importantly hazelnut flavoured lips. She also has an entire collection of "Iron Man Vs" collector cards, giving her background info on bad guys... using these abilities she's managed to bring down some of the biggest bad guys in the marvel universe... Apparently some writers hate her and keep trying to "but no" her accomplishments and others love her and keep making her beat bigger and badder people... Much more amusing than Spiderman or the Captain America.

Providing a lovely segue is the Marvel Vs DC collection I have, average kinda comic but interesting in that they used reader votes to determine the winners. Batman vs Captain America, Superman vs Hulk, Spiderman vs Superboy, Flash vs Thor, Silver Surfer vs Green Lantern etc... The coolest part of this clearly being the weird amalgam universe, a Batman/Wolverine Hybrid chasing a Sabertooth/Joker Hybrid with an incredibly annoying Captain America/Superman hybrid etc...
Comics being comics and Marvel/DC being Marvel/DC nothing that is even remotely popular is let go, so that means Amalgam Comics was setup to do 24 comic run of stories about the heroes/villains from the merged universe (never let storyline get in the way of potential profit). A list of comics to think from this would include

• Legends of the Dark Claw (Wolverine/Batman)
• Bruce Wayne, Agent of Shield (Bruce Wayne/Nick Fury)
• Iron Lantern (Iron Man/Green Lantern)
• Lobo the Duck (Lobo/Howard the Duck... WTF is right)

Now we move into DC land... As mention previously I was never into DC as much as Marvel (although Watchmen is officially DC, and V for Vendetta is Vertigo which is a DC imprint)... Basically I HATE Superman and Batman, I really really hate the pair of them. The Joker is an awesome villain, but Batman sucks, so unsurprisingly the coolest DC comic I own is a Batman story with no Batman in it till the last couple of pages. It's just the Joker leaving Arkham and going on a bit of a rampage, then finishes with Batman coming from nowhere and kicking the fuck out of him.

But that does mean we can segue straight to Neil Gaiman's Sandman comic, initially DC and later Vertigo this is one of the most awesome comics you can ever read. Neil Gaiman would have to be one of my favourite writers (of anything... yes there is man crush there) so his most kick ass of kick ass comics is pretty freaking awesome. I've read his short stories, kids stories, comics, novels and watched the damn movies and they're all awesome. I won't bother trying to summarise the series, just read it... read it all.

So that's the two big publishing houses covered, next up is the smaller stuff...

Love, Hugs and Kisses
ANt

Comics, part 1

So looking over my previous posts I've found very little reference to comics on here. Now I'm not quite a "comic book" person like you imagine when you hear the term... There's no collection of air tight plastic bags holding issue 1 of anything, in fact there's very few actual comics in my collection, it's almost exclusively "graphic novels" (big comics for those who don't know what that means).
Anyway I guess when I first started paying any attention to comics it was in the 90s and mainly Marvel stuff... But that was mainly due to the toys and the tv shows and not actual comics... Although I do have one (somewhere) where Magneto rips out Wolverines adamantium and then Prof X vegetables him... So in the Marvel vs DC debate I'm pretty heavily on the Marvel side (on that note I did have a couple of the Marvel vs DC comics they did... and years later picked up the collection). When I started looking at them again a few years back (coinciding strongly with the appearance of a disposable income) I drifted away from the Marvel/DC "mainstream" and started looking at other publishers like Devils Due and the more obvious Image, Dark Horse etc...
So I was shifting around my collection to new shelves and I thought I'd write something about it... but I couldn't quite come up with anything that worthwhile... So I thought I'd just write about comics/characters I like or own and why...

Starting with the "classics" (most are movies now too)


Watchmen
THE comic that everyone tells you to read. Alan Moore (a name you need to know to understand comics today... but a bit of a douche... more on that later). Award winning (and not just in comic categories, but actual "real" books too) and quite worthy of said awards. Complex story with lots of morally grey areas and a quite good movie too. Read it more than once... Although the artwork is nothing special (Alan Moore is pretty boring in his layouts...) Committing comic book heresy here, but I actually like the movie conclusion a lot more than the book, (spoiler time) but Dr Manhatten going rogue and threatening earth seems much more realistic (within the bounds of the story) than other dimensional aliens... Although it sucked they took out the pirate story. Also interestingly was meant to be set in a "universe" of another publisher that DC "acquired" and then be killing off established characters with history, rather than newly developed ones.

V for Vendetta
Again with Alan Moore, this time indulging in his pen chant for anarchism and revolution (rather than sex and conspiracy that Watchmen covered). Interesting enough story with boring as art (although no thought bubbles is new). A semi decent movie adaption that Alan Moore seems to hate (basically he's a douche and hates anyone doing anything with his work). He can blather on about trying to make his work unfilmable and wanting comics to be special... but that's not ever going to happen dude... get over it...
V is harder to read than Watchmen mainly due to all the hoo hah about anarchy and the completely unrealistic end game of V... People ruling themselves nicely? Dream on... I quite like the anti authoritarian stance, getting upset because the words "anarchism" and "fascism" aren't used is pretty silly IMHO

Sin City
Another classic turned into a reasonably popular film, this time however it's NOT an Alan Moore work but Frank Miller. A series of very awesome looking comics held together by a very tight (if somewhat over the top) story. And because Frank Miller had a bullshit time making Robocop 3 (basically he got fucked by a studio) the movie is pretty close to the comics too.

300
What? Frank Miller again? Yes much like Stan Lee invented 90% of the Marvel universes characters a surprisingly large proportion of really kick ass (more on Kick Ass later) comics come from a surprisingly small portion of writers. Funnily (yet unsurprisingly) enough Alan Moore had a whinge about this comic (and probably the movie too)... Apparently there wasn't enough homo in it for him... I get the feeling Alan Moore is kinda a epic douche as a person.
The art is once again quite awesome (and different to the "norm" or Alan Moore's "extra boring" style) and again the movie (the "this is Sparta" one) turned out to be quite popular (at least on the interweb) and quite close to the original comic.

Moving on from "classics/must haves", but continuing the "recently filmed" trend and you have

Kick Ass
Not Frank Miller or Alan Moore, but once again comic bigwigs (kinda) and you get a relatively new comic being developed almost alongside its movie. Substantial differences exist between the comic and movie (not the least being the reaction by the chick when she finds out he's not gay) and whilst you might think the movie is a little fucked up, it's got nothing compared to the comic. And most amazingly the comic writer is quite ok with the differences between the movie and the comic, with the reasoning being comic audiences and film audiences are different and film audiences wouldn't be able to deal with the less than happy things that happen (because they're pussies essentially). Think of Kick Ass the movie as the "chick flick" of the comic.
Bright colours, over the top storyline and gore make this comic most amusing to read... and I can't wait for the next two installments (comic AND movie)

The Mask
Yes it was a comic first, no the movie has nothing at all to do with the comic... Well they both have green faces, that's about it... I do like the Jim Carey vehicle, however comparing it to the comic is possibly even less reliable that comparing the Starship Troopers book to the movie.
Crazy over the top stories and violence makes the looney tunes copy cat mask from the movie appear like a total pussy... Plus the mask is actually a BAD guy in the comic...

I dearly dearly dearly want to read the Lobo/Big Head crossover and the Big Head/Joker crossover.

That's about all I can be bothered writing for the moment, but I do have more to write about (Scott Pilgrim, Hack/Slash, Dead @ 17, Marvel stuff, not to mention Neil Gaiman) so I'll do that whenever I get around to doing it

Love, Hugs and Kisses
ANt

Ghostbusters!

I really love the movie Ghostbusters... It's only recently occurred to me how compulsively I will watch that movie. Whenever I'm looking for a DVD to watch it's always on the short list (or the sequel). I think it would be quite distressing to see just how much of that movie I know off by heart, either of them... Ghostbusters 2 still has one of my favorite henchmen lines ever "soon it will be midnight and the city will be mine and Vigos... well mainly Vigos..." Ghostbusters 2 also counts as the first ever reference in my life to Moldova (Vigo was the "sorrow of Moldavia").
The Ghostbusters 2 computer game is one of the first games I ever remember playing on a PC and it was impossibly hard. All I could do was collect the slime and occasionally break someone out of the mental institute... I couldn't catch ghosts at all. I assumed this was because I was young and computers were complicated, but a few years ago I found a copy of the game and played it... That wasn't the issue, that game was just insanely hard...
I've played and finished the new PS3 game, fun but quite short... but hey you get to be a ghostbuster and run around with the original ghostbusters in the game (hell they even do the voices) so I was sold there...

Even the theme warms my heart, I believe I've mentioned before that a ghostbusters multitrack is the default video for me on youtube, but I've dug up a bunch of other covers of the song...In order of goodness are
Ska
8 bit
Punk
Techno

Anyway... I like Ghostbusters

Love, Hugs and Kisses
ANt

Things and Stuff

I haven't written for a while, and sure as hell don't feel like doing assessment stuff at 11pm so I thought I'd jump on here and have a play around.

So I had a look at the stats for this thing and apparently people still view it (I dunno about reading it, but they view it). Unsurprisingly the majority of page views come from Australia (artificially increased by this 'puter and my desktop... especially from when I want to link to Greg or Max's much more interesting blogs) but second place is the US, that's a little odd... Norway comes in at 7th (unsurprising given I started this thing properly when I was there) but 3rd through 6th are a MYSTERY... Slovenia comes in just behind the US with a BIG margin over the 4th place Germany... Now I've been to Germany, written posts for this blog in Germany and blogged about German things here, so I can see why German computers might link here... But Slovenia? WHY? I've never been there, never written about there and to the best of my knowledge never even met a Slovenian... The closest thing I can think is I've probably bad mouthed their Eurovision entries a few times... This is born out by the fact that of the 290ish views from Slovenia 200 were this month (surpassing my Australian audience by over 2 views to 1)
Next up is even MORE of a mystery... IRAN... WHY? SUPER WHY? How is there any content on here that would even come up for google.iran? Close behind that is Russia... Sorry boys you can't get my credit card details from here

Rereading some of my older posts though I worked out why people managed to find my blog by searching "White Rabbit Dynamite" before I made that a tag (because I couldn't work out why people would find me that way). That was the name of the band I saw on my pub crawl in Berlin (interestingly the "alternative berlin" tours I did and then blogged about are another way people find this... btw if you're ever in Berlin, google "alternative berlin" and do their pub crawls/walking tours).

Anyway to give this blog post some content (other than the bollocks about stats) I thought I'd talk about the lego digital designer and the things I've made with it

For those not in the know, Lego Digital Designer (or LDD for short) is a program that lets you build lego on the 'puter and if you do it in the right mode you can then buy said model complete with custom box and instructions... Needless to say I've spent a LOT of time on it and built some quite bizzare things. I've got 43 models of various sizes and themes

Anyway here was one of my first (and to date most excessive) creations

 

1500+ Pieces, near on $700 and a build guide of over 400 steps... It would probably top out at 60cms tall...

Bigger isn't better though... some of the smaller scale things I've made look much nicer

It "almost" looks like a realistic castle

As opposed to these

I don't just do castles though, I do other weirder things

The Dragonfly Copter

The Spider Bot

 The Copter Boat

 

Whatever this is...

I tried making a normal house once... I ended up with this

In fact this is the most "normal" model I have

(It's a space station btw)

And this is to just prove I can use real lego too

Love, Hugs and Kisses

ANt

Who want's to go to Moldova with me?

(or lets go watch Moldovan Idol)

I've had something of a love affair with Moldova since my first glance at the country (outside of a cryptic reference from Prince Vigo in Ghostbusters 2) with their opening Eurovision performance in 2005 with Bunica Bate Toba (the first year they entered)... Zdob si Zdub are apparently a completely legit (even if their name means nothing and their website doesn't work) band based in Chişinău (the Capital) who have opened for some big name acts... These guys were also the entry for Moldova in 2011 with So Lucky.

Anyway their discography is follows

• 1996 – Hardcore Moldovenesc (Moldovan Hardcore) [honestly I'd probably buy an album called that if I saw it for sale]
• 1999 – Tabăra Noastră (Our camp)
• 1999 – Zdubii bateţi tare (Zdub Guys Beat It Hard) [SOOOOOO many jokes to be made]
• 2000 – Remixes
• 2001 – Agroromantica
• 2002 – Рок Энциклопедия (Rock Encyclopedia)
• 2003 – 450 De Oi (450 Sheep) [Sheep... right...]
• 2006 – Ethnomecanica
• 2010 - Белое Вино/Красное вино (White Wine/Red Wine)

And this isn't mentioning the interweb hurrah over last years Moldovan Entry by the Sunstroke Project and Olia Tira called Run Away (aka "saxman"). Hell Saxman became something of a thing briefly... (hell just google "Epic Sax Guy)

Other Moldovan entries include a brittney spears impersonator in 2006, a semi decent violin powered number in 2007 with flags, a terrible dropping of the ball in 2008 (but picking up of a teddy) and in 2009 the prancey back up dancers were all that saved it...

Anyway Moldova is completely landlocked surrounded by Romania (whom they were a part of in between the wars and stole their flag off) and the Ukraine (so guess who they vote for/with in the Eurovision?). It's apparently one of the poorest countries in Europe, would dearly like to join the EU (But isn't allowed because it's so poor) and had the distinction of being the first country to vote itself a communist president (in the post soviet period).

Trawling the CIA database I did find it amusing that there are only 11 airports in Moldova, with only 5 of them even having sealed runways...

I did seriously think about trying to get into Moldova last year on my trip, but given there are painful visa proceedures and not a lot to do unless you're big on corruption, organised crime and communism I gave it a miss... Apparently it's a big source for people trafficking. A post soviet collapse lead to a lovely little civil war that isn't completely resolved too...

Wikipedia gives it a long write up from the middle ages to today and what travelly type info I gathered can be limited to this

1) Moldova does wine

2) They have a museum

3) Monasteries

4) More wine

Wikipedia also has mention of surprising growth in the popularity of rugby union in Moldova... go figure

So turning to the "experts" on travel... The lonely planet website... the following arises

• The language is confusing... from the actual language to whether or not it is even different to Romanian
• Just getting there is a pain in the ass if you aren't in Romania, The Ukraine or Hungary already and you can't get a visa at the border when you arrive by train (my fav method) leading to you getting turfed at the border or arrested. PLUS Australians need a letter of invitation...
• Street crime however is low (because there aren't enough visitors for this to be a legit occupation... nice to know) 
• A direct quote probably sums up the organised crime point... "In Chişinău fleets of BMWs and Mercedes dominate traffic, while fashionably dressed youths strut down boutique-lined avenues and dine in fancy restaurants. How did this excessive wealth find its way to the capital of one of Europe's poorest countries? Answer: you don’t wanna know and we ain’t asking. The stunning contrast between rich and poor is only overshadowed by the conspicuously bold acts committed by individuals who are clearly above the law and shamelessly conduct themselves as such."

I guess all considered I might not be getting there any time soon... I'll just buy the album =P

Love, Hugs and Kisses

ANt

The Eurovision Song Contest 2011 Final

So Blogger is up and running so I can tap away as it's on

I'm going to say from the start that whatever entry wins tends to spawn a few copycats in the years to follow (Hell Germany sent the same girl)... so if Ireland win I'm going to be fairly grumpy...

The opening was pretty interesting, the guy can certainly play, but I still don't like him... But Anke is has grown on me massively

Onwards to the contest... same as last year I'll only add something for countries I've written about previously if I think of something new

Finland- "Not quite Lordi"... Well put Julia ( I do *heart* Julia too)

Bosnia-

Denmark- Shouldn't be called Friend in London, should be called "Stupid Haircut 5ive"

Lithuania- "That's right! She's the one that gets older the closer the camera goes" thanks Steve

Hungary- Michael Bolton

Ireland- The Irish equivalent of a Red Cordial overload... If they win I will hold Ireland solely responsible for the absurdity of next years competition

Sweden- Dark Horse

Estonia- I didn't notice the magic tricks last time...

Greece- [insert joke here about stereo mike being a stupid name too]

Russia- The jackets didn't spell his name in the semi

France- Something something something Yoann, Corsican Opera... Bit of a change of pace from every other Eurovision entry. The Backdrop of the Sun coming out was pretty cool... Beats the hell out of Piss off Jedward

Italy- First time I've ever seen an Italian Eurovision entry... Better than I thought they were going to be. I'd go so far as to say I quite liked this

Switzerland-Clearly she doesn't have to concentrate on the lyrics that much

UK- I wonder if it upsets the UK that countries that clearly don't want to win get more points than them... They always appear to be trying so hard, yet they suck so much every single year... Not quite as shit as last year, but that was amazingly bad

Moldova- These guys are a legit Moldovan band that supports BIG name bands... Oh god I wish I could see what the Moldovan live music scene was like... And then the finish with the monocle

Germany- "taken by a stranger" is it about rape? Such an odd accent she sings in, especially after you hear her speak. I like Lena, not as good as last years but she's pretty cool... And the Australian host guy is clearly on the turps and funny

Romania- Sometimes I love Romania, sometimes it's meh... this year it's all downhill after the pants... Their like the pants from Christopher Walken's suit in Batman (which is one of my all time fav suits)... The act doesn't live up to the promise of the pants...

Austria-

Azerbaijan- The guy looks kinda like a bad ricky ponting impersonator and the whole song is a bit skeevy

Slovenia-

Iceland- Complete with spontaneous kiss on the cheek... "we don't use banks anymore"

Spain- Don't try and don't care... I think they're actually really scared of winning it and then having to pay for hosting it next year... They've even stolen half of the safety dance...

Ukraine- One needs to wonder what will be copied from this entry next year if they win/do well

Serbia-

Georgia- "Out Turkeyed Turkey"... Good call

That suit worn by the vote collating entertainment dude was AMAZING... But I think there is something sinister happening with his teeth. And then Anke needed to be carried around by that dickwit...

VOTING TIME

Oh how I love voting... I called Sweden at home as a potential winner based on the fact it was dancey and annoying but not over the top like Ireland
12 points from Netherlands for Denmark? Nearly as surprising as 12 points from Cyprus to Greece...
Wow, Finland didn't vote for Denmark, but Norway still voted for Sweden and Finland...
So block voting is back... But at 12 rounds in without a clear winner is a bit unusual...
21 rounds in and it's still kinda close with Ukraine/Azerbajian/Sweden up there...
At least Ireland and the UK are crashing out...
30 rounds in and it was still pretty close with Azerbaijann looking solid over the Ukraine and Sweden... Azerbaijan was creepy and sucked I'm not happy
Towards the end of the voting Azerbajian was pretty solidly in front with Sweden lagging behind and Italy coming out of nowhere to be 3rd, that's nice... But Azerbaijan still sucked massively

Azerbaijan suck... but Italy to pip Sweden for 2nd on the last vote was a pretty impressive return to eurovision

But just one last time... Azerbajian was creepy and sucked

Love, Hugs and Kisses
ANt

The Eurovision Song Contest 2011 Semi Finals

Now normally I'd try and divide these two events into seperate blog posts and write them as they go on/just after they finish... However blogspot was being lame and not letting people log in... So I had to write my notes in word and paste them up here once I could log in. So here is my views of the semis in one hit

Countries named in bold are through to the final

Semi Final One or, "Jah ist funny Jah"

First up, that chick in purple, the "comedian" is batshit insane... And the Germans having a comedian? And they’re going to try and be funny? This could be rough... I'm filled with dread

Poland... Well she had pretty eyes and was kinda hot I guess, but clearly there’s a distinct relationship between backing singerness and pantslessness.

Norway... Entering in Swahili... I didn’t pick that, even if every second street corner has a Nigerian selling weed. I can't decide between what my dear "cousin" Eirik said "She's a wonderful representative of the multiethnicity of Norway. But the people of Eastern Europe don't like black people, so that's why she's out, at least that's my theory" or possibly what Øystein said "She can't sing. That's my theory"

Albania... Female ballad with creepy fingernails... and shit

Armenia... WTF? Boxing? Maybe there’s more in the translation? Or did Rocky only just make it to Armenia? Oh and they made a boxing ring... still one needs to wonder why

Turkey... It's a Turkish entry so someone needs to take their clothes off. He’s a bit sinister... Looks a bit like a Jackie Chan bad guy. And there was a nude lady in cage standing on her own head... then turned the cage around and she turned into a bird

Serbia... I guess the 60s just hit Serbia, but every year I hate the Serbians... this year less than others... but never mind I’m over this entry too

Russia... A Russian boy band fronted by a dancing with the stars on wood and ice winner... Totally a Russian Luke Perry, Alexi must be the Russian version of the name Dylan 

Switzerland... Ukulele! That is all

Georgia... That’s a costume... And rap sucks... But I think that they think they’re hardcore, someone should correct that... “Go back to the 90s and take Vanilla Ice with you!”... thanks Steve

Finland... They’re just copying the Belgians from last year... but even lamer... I appreciate an environmental message probably more than the next guy... but seriously lame

Malta... what perfectly plucked eyebrows, that is all

San Marino... Yes I do mind, go away... Ballads suck

Croatia... The man in the hat... Oh dear... He’s touching people... and no surprise she runs to another stage after he touches her. I’m definitely concerned about that man

Iceland... That’s one of the biggest adherents to the low bass school I’ve seen for a while

Hungary... That’s quite a ring... and a dress/toga. Plus I find heels so huge the singer can’t move amusing

Portugal... What a most glorious moustache. The Iberian peninsula does not give a shit... They’re not even trying anymore... It’s like a kids band... except for that guy on the end in camo... suspect much? And the construction guy... not much better

Lithuania... Ballad... LAME

Azerbaijan... Shit... and the male lead looks like a potential kiddie fiddler... And God is crying tears of fire

Greece... Every year the Greeks appear more and more out of control... “Stand back! I have a hat and I’m surrounded by funky people”...  Rap still sux though

Quick host interlude... seriously that guy hosting is an absolute TIT... and the comedian a bit out of control and just isn’t funny, but at least she’s recycling her jokes... recycling is good...

The drum group where quite cool, and WAY german...  Vy are you climbing zee man? Zer is nothing up zere! Get off zee drums! Zee drums are not for valking!

But there's a different Eurovision man in charge... awww

Semi Final Two or "the comedian host is growing on me... that guy is still a tit though

And she changed her dress from that one armed sail number, then she snorted when she laughed ... She's not so bad... but that guy is a tit

And every time I see that circular shot of the singer on stage I remember that it's actually done by a little man running onto stage with a camera... hilarious

Bosnia... Look look a triangle and an old man... The Balkans are weird

Austria... Ballad... Lame... The Austrian entry was my favourite for years based on the insanity... then they left and the Ukraine and Moldova (oh Moldova <3 ) took the role of most insane country. Now Austria is back and being serious and lame... disappointed

The Netherlands... I can’t help but notice there are more than 3 of them... I never  like the Netherlands

Belgium... Impressive that it was entirely vocals... and quite a haircut on the beatboxer... that is all... Should've done better I think

Slovakia... Yeah in and out I feel that the Slovakians choose their entries based on looks... The song sucks

Ukraine... Always mental and always an entry I look forward to... And a sand artist, interesting idea for a song contest... I'd be tempted to go there based solely on their Eurovision stuff

Moldova... My other favourite country... Not just because they seem to love ska but every single year they are out of control and this year is no change...Those hats are up there with the devo flower pot hats... And a unicycle! And a monocle! On that note, is there a Moldovan Idol? I would totally watch that

Sweden... Still smarting from last years failure to qualify for the first time ever Sweden has poured a shitload of money and gay onto their entry... And as observed by my brother that’s the first time I’ve seen an odd number of sleeves in a boy band

Cyprus... Every year the Cypriot entry sucks balls... that is all

Bulgaria... They’re a bit backwards, to quote Lister “they’re Bulgarians, they have very simple tastes”... Nothing about this stands out to me

FYR Macedonia... always sux... No change from that trend... I have a megaphone and a microphone, together they cancel out to make a normalphone

Israel... “Is this the transvestite again?” “Yes Mum” “That’s lucky for her then”

Slovenia... Clearly she won Slovenia Idol... Listen to her range

Romania... Each year it seems to be a 50-50 on whether or not I like them... But a fantastic pair of pants and fedoras makes feel they don’t suck as much as they apparently do suck

Estonia... No comment, bubblegum and lame... If it gets through go get ice cream or something

Belarus... I Love Belarus, well that’s a lie... I love Moldova

Latvia... Never a standout... Boring as usual

Denmark... Stupid hair and a boring band number... Not quite Wild Stalyns battle of the bands winning

Ireland... OMG Jedward is their TV show? And two guys singing a song called lipstick? 8 shoulder pads between the two of them? Oh Dear... and this is one of the favourites? Oh Double Dear... “Next season of the tv show should be called STFU jedward”

The we had some classical breakdancing... Much better than to Rap and our comedian host is totally not german, she tries to be funny and seems to be actually enjoying herself...

Well at least moldova made it through

Love, Hugs and Kisses

ANt