This blog is essentially a collection of posts I used to write on Facebook combined with my travel blog and expanded to make a very public forum of my thoughts regarding Pop Culture, The Interweb, Cartoons, Comics, Ultimate Frisbee, Absurdity, Life, Travel and whatever else captures my attention long enough to write about it...

Enter at your own peril!

20 May 2012

Eurovision 2012 - Where the hell is Baku?

I'm not dead... I just have a job...

I feel a bit like Axecop...  definitely the no breakfast and the time of my job being "always"... I've been working some stupidly long hours and don't really feel like I have much time for faffing around anymore. =( In particular the periodic 5am wake ups and Saturday shifts (not to mention the 5am Saturday wake ups) are tough... especially when they're on top of a 40 hour 9 to 5 week (that is generally closer to a 830 to 530 day)

oh well

Anyway I forced myself to log on and make a post about the eurovison just to keep up with what seems to be one of the central topics to this blog.

For those who don't remember (and I'm going on memory here) last year Azerbaijan beat Sweden (my tip for victory) late in the voting with that creepy duet between the young guy that looked skeevy and the older chick who didn't know she was way to old to be singing and looking longingly at the young skeevy guy... I wasn't a fan... but that means Baku, capital of Azerbaijan is hosting the event... and except for where Azerbaijan is, that Baku is the capital and that it has fought a few wars with neighbouring Armenia I know 2/5ths of fuck all about the I did what everyone does and googled it. and came up with the following get to know Azerbaijan facts:
  • Apparently funerals are a big deal with hundreds of guest and big outdoor tents with professional caterers costing like 1/3rd of the average salary in a year...
  • Freestyle wrestling the national sport along (I won't even bother with the jokes)
  • Chess and backgammon as national past times (again no jokes)
 then I came across this charmer from the CIA factbook "local scientists consider the Abseron Yasaqligi (Apsheron Peninsula) (including Baku and Sumqayit) and the Caspian Sea to be the ecologically most devastated area in the world because of severe air, soil, and water pollution; soil pollution results from oil spills, from the use of DDT pesticide, and from toxic defoliants used in the production of cotton"
 hmmm sounds like an exciting place.

Apparently in the 80s Azerbaijan was a big tourism place (and part of the Soviet Union) with that dying off in the 90s thanks to yet another Armenia/Azerbaijan conflict. And all the tourist attractions I could see in my (very quick) interweb search involved things being old and "cultural", which admittedly sounds a bit better than Moldova's "organised crime and people smuggly" and I'd still like to go there (Moldova) so I shouldn't mock them to mercilessly (but I probably will because I'm in a mood).

Anyway I think the eurovision could be seen as a big deal by the Azerbaijan government... which in itself is a worry... but I would then guess we're going to be in for a good couple of hours worth of "look at our culture" during the show... which is always painful...
With 42 countries entering I really can't be assed looking at any of them in advance (except for one... more on that later) so I'll just list out my pre-eurovision thoughts
  • Spain's entry will be terrible... they don't care and they definitely don't want to be stuck hosting next year (because it's expensive) so they need to make sure they don't win... And given they're "big 4" (or is it "big 5" now Italy is back) they automatically get into the final... so that halves their chance of losing, so they need to make sure they don't win
  • Italy is back... still 
  • And on that note apparently Jedward (that horrible red cordial and ADHD overdose from Ireland in 2011) is back... Last year I was horrified that if they did well there would be copycats... I never dreamed they'd pull a Lena (who I actually liked) and be back....
  • Will anyone vote for Greece (besides the 12 points they ALWAYS get from Cyprus)... I know I said this before and Opa did well but this year has got to increase the political tension (at least Germany and Greece probably won't vote for each other)
  • England are entering Englbert Humperdinkelbert in some vague attempt to look like they're being serious (therefore giving them the right to bitch when noone votes for them) but not actually risk winning and having to host it
  • One entry I have seen in advance was Russia... because they were the first entry to qualify. It's better than Russia's normal entries
And finally I googled the Moldovan entry... every year they delight me and they still haven't dropped the ball. I won't go into my love affair with Moldovan Eurovision here (it has its own post on the blog already) but I will say watch this entry... hilarious and insane and the bestest shorts ever worn by man... "This trumpet makes you mine girl"... no I'm pretty sure it's the shorts that make me yours dude... not to mention the bride fighting and riding... seriously what is up with that country... hilarious

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