This blog is essentially a collection of posts I used to write on Facebook combined with my travel blog and expanded to make a very public forum of my thoughts regarding Pop Culture, The Interweb, Cartoons, Comics, Ultimate Frisbee, Absurdity, Life, Travel and whatever else captures my attention long enough to write about it...

Enter at your own peril!

29 October 2010

Stolen From Bookface Two: Return of the self plagariser...

So I decided to raid my old facebook notes for other bollocks to put into my blog (and preserve for eternity)... And I came across these "gems"

Velociraptors vs Batman

in depth analysis



  • They're DINOSAURS
  • They're smart for dinosaurs
  • They work in packs
  • Feathers! So they're probably not cold blooded
  • They're agile, fast and have that massive (for their size) killing claw
  • They're WAY smaller than you think… Like the size of a Turkey
  • They probably aren’t smarter than a cat (although Catwoman is one of Batman's most difficult adversaries... mainly because he's so busy trying to "get it on" with her)
  • Feathers! So they look silly

  • he’s batman and therefore not allowed to lose (LAME)
  • he has plans for EVERYTHING, so that probably includes dinosaurs
  • Velociraptors are pretty small… he could just drop kick them
  • ”OMG! They can open doors!” so he’ll just booby trap the door
  • he’s batman and therefore lame and the image of velociraptors eating him is cool
  • there’s only one of him (and he is subject to the law of inverse ninja strength... He always gets the most screwed when working with Robin/Batgirl etc)
  • he is “just a man”... Crazy Prepared isn't really a superpower anymore than "Logistics" is a superpower for Awesome X
So that tells me that vs a Velociraptor Batman would win… Vs a pack, batman would win…
However bring in a Utahraptor (a much much bigger raptor and it’s a different story… Over 2m tall and 7m long!) but even then I think batman would beat an individual dinosaur (of ANY kind)…

So now we’re up to Batman vs a pack of deinonychus (1.5-2m tall and 3m long)… They are the first dinosaur that blew my mind (even before J-Park) and I think a pack of them would possibly be a damn tough opponent for Batman… Victor would depend on the environment, how prepared batman is and just how many you have in the pack…


Next up....

It's a Monday with no league... what do real people do on a Monday?
I know! I'll write a facebook post...

So it's not that time of year and the hottest 100 of the year isn't rolling around. Instead Triple J are running a Hottest 100 of ALL TIME poll. They last did this 10 years ago or so. I do love my triple J and voting in the hottest 100 is an essential task to do each year (very rarely do I vote for a winner or even the top 10... I normally get a couple in the top 20 though... and got Muse- Knights of Cydonia through a couple of years ago). Anyway I've been nagging people to vote in this one or even just to think about it. What're your favorite songs of all time? That's a tough damn question.
For those not in the know about the process works... You don't pick 100 songs you don't pick 1... you choose 10 songs and the top 100 voted for songs win and are ranked and played in order. So you need to choose 10 songs which is a damn hard thing to do. So after much agonising and soul searching I've picked my top ten... and are listed as follows

1) The Living End Prisoner of Society
Kick Ass song... Kick Ass Band... When we're old and crusty telling our grandkids about what it was like back at the turn of the century this is the band we will be talking about... I have no doubt of that. There is a reason every year these guys make the hottest 100 for that year. This song made this band, it fucking rocks and 10 years after it came out we all still love it and know the words. It was MANDATORY listening at parties for at least 5 years after it came out and I have no doubt you could still whack it on a stereo at any time and NOONE will turn it off. Plus this song is amazing live....

Ranks 2-5 haven't bee assigned, but would include in no particular order

Rage Against the Machine Killing in the Name
Yes... Rage... Rage are good... This is a very intense song. There's not many feelings like a whole crowd screaming "Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!"...

Frenzal Rhomb Ship of Beers
I was a mid-90s punk boy... Blink 182, NoFX, Strung Out, NUFAN... the whole Fat Wreck Chords scene. Frenzal held the Australian torch up pretty damn high. In a very public secret confession I'll admit I only just bought Meet the Family last year. And I knew the words to half the songs, probably dating back to when i was first listening to it circa year 8-9. The sorrow felt when those guys took "time off" was much more intense than I thought it would be (you don't miss something till it's gone... "we can't accidentally see frenzal anymore!"). Those who saw how overstimulated I was at their gig this year might have a clue as to why these guys kick so much ass...

Madness Baggy Trousers
Associated with the mid 90s punk thing comes a love of third wave ska... "But Madness are a second wave two tone band from the 80s!" chorus the pedantic ska music nerd crowd (if there is one). True... I would dearly love to put some Reel Big Fish on the list, but deciding on my favorite single song of theirs is nigh on impossible. Given that RBF owe their existence to Madness, RBF and Madness are the two best live shows I've EVER seen and I have a clear favorite Madness song I felt voting for this is a good compromise... I went ballistic when they played this song live... BLISS

The Action Design Eyes on Me
Who? Why waste a vote like that? Well two words TSUNAMI BOMB... Everyone who knows me should know the absolute thing I have for this band... So how does that connect to Action Design? Well unfortunately Triple J's list is exhaustive but doesn't have Tsunami Bomb songs on it (although the band is there strangely enough). So I voted for the next best thing, the follow up band. For the record I would've voted for 5150 (which is somewhat ironically the police code for an escaped lunatic) and possibly ...Not Forever or No Good Very Bad Day.

Ranks 6-10 (no order)
Midnight Oil The Dead Heart
The Oils are the best band to come from Australia ever... and definitely one of the most important. Go and listen to them now. And I don't care if he's a politician I still think he kicks ass. This is the song of theirs I like the most.

Ramones Blitzkrieg Bop
Partially a "fuck you" to all those kids out in their Rah-moan-ez shirts and don't even know the name of the song "Hey Ho Let's Go" comes from (it's Blitzkrieg Bop btw). But mainly I choose this for two reasons... One I love the song, Two I'm a punk boy (kinda... pop punk I guess) and these guys are the Moses of Pop Punk... Gotta pay your dues and this song deserves the votes...

Michael Jackson Beat It
He's the king of pop... Sure he's not playing with a full deck (i think his deck is just the 7 of Spades and a joker actually) but he sings and dances VERY well. To not put him in the top 100 artists of all time would be a travesty... I choose beat it for the same reason as the Oils... I like the song the most.

Queen Bohemian Rhapsody
Do I really have to explain this? Play this song anywhere and find me a group where at least one person doesn't sing along...

Joy Division Love Will Tear Us Apart
There's a reason this topped the list last time they did this... It's a good song... Listen to it and try and challenge me.

So that's my top ten... It was damn hard to pick too
other stuff that crossed my mind

Smells like teen spirit- Nirvana
You spin me right round- Dead or Alive
Blister in the Sun- Violent Femmes
- Daft Punk
Wonderwall- Oasis
Just a Girl- No Doubt (a karaoke classic!)
New York New York- (Best karaoke song EVER)
-Rise Against
-The Might Be Giants
Intergalactic- Beastie Boys
Fight for your right- Beastie Boys
Knights of Cydonia- Muse
Hazy Shade of Winter- I like the Bodyjar version
Black Betty- Once again I prefer Spiderbait’s version
Rock Lobster- B52s
Kung Fu Fighting-
-Crowded House
-Misfits (probably skulls)
Oh Fortuna Carmina Burana- Carl Orf
Night on Bare Mountain-

so yeah... comments/questions?

Love, Hugs and Kisses

ps I think they should try a hottest 100 from all the songs that have been on a hottest 100 before... best of the best style... but that's just a slightly more selective hottest 100

Followed by death threats for Keanu Reeves...

So in his daily foray into the creepy underbelly of the interweb (ie he surfs 4chan) my brother found this picture and alerted me to it...
Three pictures, all with approximate dates... From right to left

Keanu Reeves last year, Keanu Reeves 14 years ago, and a portrait of an actor (who uses the name Paul Mounet) from 1875!... That's right 134 years ago!

Now obviously they're all the same person, which logically makes Keanu Reeves a minimum of 162 years old (given Paul Mounet was apparently born in 1847)... And if I know my "immortal beings" life stories (Ra's Al Ghul, Apocalypse and the Highlander characters) they just change their name/country of residence and resume their life every generation or so. This means we clearly can't tell how many "lives" Keanu has lived so far... I wonder who he was and what he did between 1922 and 1964? Something to do with fighting the Nazis I hope...

But obviously we now have one choice of action... Behead him with a sword and inherit his powers.

I needs to get me a sword of some form...

Love Hugs and Kisses

And last of all....


So yeah extra stuff to think about from Bookface

Love, hugs and Kisses

So I've been thinking about death recently

and I've mad a list, in order of my favourite ones*
  1. Well not my favourite... this is a countdown not a count up. But the blogger program can't handle a reverse numbering system (or it can I just don't know how to do it).
    Marvel Death (not the Horseman of the apocalypse, which would have therefore included Wolverine, Sabertooth and the rest of them but the anthropomorphic personification of death). And yes I know NOONE really dies in marvel comics. (except for Bucky and Uncle Ben... and even Bucky came back)

    She is kinda lame and fairly generic... Nothing really that notable about this one (other than her ability to make this a "top 5" list). I guess the fact that Thanos (one of the "big bads" of the Marvel universe) has a crush on her and his driving desire to kill EVERYONE in the universe to prove his love for her is her only original aspect...
  2. (No not 2... but actually number 4)
    Family Guy Death
    Once again nothing to special about him... He has a few good jokes, a few more bad ones and like most Family Guy characters (excluding the obviously amazing Adam West... Noone messes with Adam We...).
  3. DEATH (and yes he comes in at 3)
    He "
    TALKS LIKE THIS" and has made an appearance in every single Discworld book but one making him essentially the core character of the entire discworld series. With a few slight changes and adding a personality the fairly boring "death" of mythology etc he has become a quite unique and entertaining character.
    He sees his job as more of a public service than anything sinister (hence the constant desire to go on holidays it would seem) and isn't a bad guy at all. He's fairly amusing and whilst not getting killer "lines" (he's more of a straight man foil to the rest of discworld) he does get some awesome situations. Having to collect a tubeworm from the ocean is kinda amusing and Rincewinds death timing hourglass which curves back on itself and appears to operate in at least 4 dimensions is pretty cool.
    Adding in a host of sub-deaths and a white horse named Binky (because skeleton horses are a pain to wire back together and the flaming one set fire to the barn) and he was a tough character to knock back to third place... but you will see why.
    Incidentally I considered putting the Death of Rats on the list, but didn't need to because I already had 5...
  4. No not 4... But actually Second
    She's perky, she's cute, she's popular to boot! She's the (relatively) new DC Comics Death. Created by Neil Gaiman (one of my many man crushes... he's so cool he's even engaged to Amanda Palmer!) she's the reason I even bothered writing this list. She debuted in the Sandman and was so popular she's even grabbed her own comics occasionally (Death: The High Cost of Living is what I just read to prompt this list).

    A perky inquisitive goth girl delighting in just experiencing life (Hey if you only got to live one day every century you'd be excited about eating a hotdog too I'm sure) you've really got to read something with her in it to understand why she's so cool... she just is. Probably good example of what good writing is. Read the Sandman or Death and nothing huge and gimmicky happens to draw you in, rather you just get to the end and go "shit that went fast... is that all?"
    She's also the best reason I've ever seen for someone to where an Ankh...

  5. No not 5, but actually my favourite Death of all time...
    William Sadler's Saturn Award winning (for best supporting actor) Duke of Spook, Doc of Shock, Man with no Tan... Death from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey...

    (FYI William Sadler was also in Red's Gang in Shawshank Redemption and Die Hard 2)

    I've never seen a Death start off with so much dignity (well they all try for dignity I guess) only to have it so systematically removed. From a sinister dark figure on the hill, to cross dressing to get into heaven, to whinging/boasting about pushing the cart and making the wigs whilst the Stations are assembling the good robot bill and teds. He plays the double bass (always a good thing in a band) and has some great moments...

    It's also prompted me to challenge death to either Twister or Battleships should I ever confront him/her/it (and best of 7? DAMN RIGHT!) rather than the traditional Chess.
    "You may be a king or a little street sweeper... but sooner or later you dance with the reaper"

So that's my list of favourite Deaths...

Love, Hugs and Kisses

PS I found the stats function... Who searching for White Rabbit Dynamite anyway and how the hell did they find my blog with that search?

*clearly we're talking Anthropomorphic Death here...

16 October 2010

Tin Foil Hat? Check!

Ok so I managed to avoid all traces of productivity today by typing "conspiracy" into google... How had I never thought to do this before...

Anyway I found a website that links (tongue in cheek) to a bunch of other deadly serious conspiracy sites... From your standard MJ-12/NWO/Masons/Organised Jewish conspiracy stuff to reptiloids controlling the royal family to false moon landings to Vaccines and Vapour Trails and almost everything else you could think of (and much you couldn't without prompting) was there. In fact some of these are so out of control it makes standard Alien/MJ12/NWO/Mason/Jew conspiracies seem positively boring.

Unfortunately many of the sites where dead links =( but some still work and there were summaries everywhere. I shudder to think of the cookies that have wormed their way onto my computer by clicking these links. But I thought I should share some of my favourites

  1. A theory that the matrix (yes the movie) was basically real... Unfortunately it was a geocities site so it was dead... I had an "awww I remember geocities" moment when the link didn't work
  2. A fairly average white supremacist who hated the Jews and Liberals for threatening the white civilisation (I wonder where he thought it came from?) but really really really loved pigeons...
  3. "There are many people out there who haven't made a decision for Jesus yet. Some are avid believers in UFO's, and/or evolution." I want to find out what this site is even on about... Plus I want to know the options one has when "deciding for Jesus" is he trying to pick out new shoes? Or what to have for breakfast? I'd also like to meet an avid believer in UFOs but not evolution...
  4. Then there was a prophetic site... including this marvel from the 80s (after the author realised he couldn't watch two tvs at once and had a vision of Yahweh watching all 5 billion of us on earth like tv shows) "I can't really explain what happened next. It was as though my mind was trying to comprehend the total thoughts of Yahweh, at which point my mind just shut off. I stood there in the store, for what seemed like an eternity, with a blank mind and absolutely no thoughts going through it, like I was catatonic. Slowly I came back to my senses and I just stood there some more, marveling at the greatness of Yahweh and the power of His might!!" Not sure if the authors mind was ever ON...
  5. Savethemales dot ca... NWO and Feminism combined... enough said
  6. "The Alien and New World Order Agenda We Can Defeat Them With Ether Energy Orgone Blasters!! order at bottom of website..." I want one... NOW (see the bottom.... WOW) This one really deserves a link...
  7. A Life on Mars website called common sense central
  8. Ancient Civilisations aren't actually real they were invented in the 14th-16th century (probably by the Jews) and the dating systems we use are confused and wrong
  9. "World Sex Daily has one main aim. That is to make you see that as dangerous and maniacal as the jews are, they are also ridiculous and goofy"... yet you went with the name world sex daily to prove the jews are goofy... right
  10. "Putting an end to 'discrimination' and 'racism' is very simple. Isolate Whites from the rest of the Global Community." At least stupidity on the interweb is allowed by everyone
  11. There was an absolutely horrifying one I found that was dedicated to Himler and trying to "prove" that the Jews had run an elaborate conspiracy to make the non jews worship their god instead of the actual non jewish god... whom happened to be satan... So yeah... Neo Nazi Satanists... I guess we've found the ultimate movie badguys...
  12. A "history of the white race" website that tried to claim the Sumerians were white (because one of their statues had blue eyes) and Nefertiti as white (because she had pale-ish skin in one statue).
  13. Oh and David Icke's site... he's a nutjob. Some of his best (besides the reptoids) include, the catholic church causing the black death by eliminating the "satanic" house cat, we're all just holograms, lots of anti EU stuff and anti agenda 21/global warming is a fraud stuff...
But yeah... lots of crazy shit there... some quite fucked up and offensive and some just out of control... those Alien/Satan/Elf fighting water pistols have given me the best laugh I've had for a while though

Love Hugs and Kisses

Now to clear my hard drive of tracking things and find my tin foil hat

Orgone Water Blasting! Burn and Destroy Aliens and the coming Giants with Orgone charged water. You won't need a super-sized rifle you can't handle or that will run out of bullets...or that may not even affect them but Orgoned Water will DESTROY them! Be Prepared to Protect Yourself!

10 October 2010

Ninjas, Uni Games and Other Things...

Many things to talk about here... none of any consequence, but that's never stopped me before... Use the big bold print to work out which section is going on about what...

So I wussed out of getting my tongue pierced... AGAIN... This sucks, I really want to get it done but I guess I'm going to need someone to "hold my hand" for it. At least I was able to get the microdermals done. But yeah the fact most people don't want me to get my tongue done kinda psyches me out of it too... which sucks because I really want it done.
I went to Industrial Strength again (I don't think I'd ever go anywhere else now) and the main dude Rob did these ones... He's a really good piercer, but his "bedside manner" or whatever you want to call it sucks. He nearly pissed himself laughing watching me try and look at the back of my head with the two mirrors to check the placement. Basically he thinks everyone is and idiot and unless you're getting suspended I don't think he has any sympathy for you over piercing fear... But he knows his stuff, does everything quickly with the minimum of fuss and gets it right... He also explains all the aftercare and whatnot properly... yeah there is a difference in price between somewhere good like Industrial Strength and your shithouse Lord of the Jewels type place, but it's soooo worth it to go somewhere good... Rob also explained to me why you can't ever get your tongue done with anything but metal at first... you can't sterilise the plastic in an autoclave because it just melts... hence why you have to get the initial bar in metal and the smaller one can be plastic when it changes after 3-4 weeks.

In other news I got back from uni games in relatively one piece... We (Mac) came 7th, which i guess is fitting but we could've done better... all our games against the 5th-8th place getters were close and could've gone either way... A bit more luck (or less) and we could've been anywhere between 5th (or even 3rd!) to 8th... It's an interesting contrast the difference in the Uni scene in the last 7 years... Back at my first uni games in 2003 if you were an Eastern Uni and you lost two anyone outside of the Eastern Region it was an absolute disgrace... It appears everyone else has caught up now...
The whole two divisions thing kinda sucks too... I can see why the admin types want it, but the whole relegation thing sucks and I'm sure some of the pummelings dished out to the "social" teams by the serious ones don't look great, but some of the social teams were getting pummeled regardless. Plus everyone knows how much a uni team can change in strength in one year, sometimes by just adding/subtracting one player... Plus there's almost no contact between the div 1 teams and div 2, which kinda sucks too... How on Earth can the social teams develop without being able to see the game as it is supposed to be played? Hell most of the social teams didn't even seem to hang around to watch the finals...
As for my personal experience... well I kinda sucked... I played a handful of points each game at best, scored a couple of goals, but didn't throw one and when I was handling half the time I ended up getting cut out in favour of punting it long... Not to mention it was a 50-50 on whether I'd get completely owned speed wise and get scored on... It was kinda frustrating, I know I could've played better than I did and I kinda feel like I let the team down pretty badly... especially by the end. Oh well.
My body didn't quite fall apart as badly as it could've... I felt the tendinitis flare up, but it's not to bad... interestingly (well not really) it was the hurty bump in my left knee killing me and the tendinitis in my right... stupid body. I think we've come to the agreement that I don't like it and it doesn't like me... Watching all our talented n00bs was quite frustrating, they're all getting worried about their throws and remembering our plays and the like (I remember being like that) and don't quite accept that given time and practice that all comes together pretty easily... My issues are the opposite, skills wise I'm doing fine (yeah I don't huck, but I don't turn the disc that often) and I don't have any issues knowing the plays and where I should be IN THEORY... But my body just won't do it... I don't have the speed or the fitness to play at that level... which sucks... Skills will come, and there's always place for fit fast people... but not for slow unfit people (unless you're one of the best throws in Aus)... And yes I know I can go to the gym etc to get my fitness up... except for the fact that if I blitz the gym (which I have done before) my knees cave in completely and I can't play... So yeah I think I won't bother even trying for Nats next year (or anymore) and mixed nats is a write off too... EUGs next year will probably be my last "big" tournie I think... if I make the squad... stupid body/knees...

And now the important topic NINJAS... I was involved in yet another pirates vs ninjas debate and an interesting point was raised... Just how many ninjas are involved in this fight... The assumption of course for the pirates is you've got a ships crew involved (no doubt complete with rackishly charming captain, quietly competant 1st mate, drunk yet talented chef and naive but lucky cabin boy) but the number of ninjas involved is a key factor due to the *drum roll*


Basically think of it this way... One Ninja = Unstopable, Two Ninjas= Tough, Horde of Ninjas= Dropping like flies... Check around and this law is always true... One ninja always kicks ass (see any of your stock standard Ninja movies), but the more ninjas there are the worse they are... up until you get an army of them and they suck balls (see the Ninja army in James Bond for the easiest example). Why do you think the Ninja Turtles could never beat Shredder One on One but always whooped the Foot Clan (obviously that scene with Raph in TMNT 1 was just for dramatic tension...). Or the Three ninjas kicking the ass of the horde of ninjas sent after them despite only being kids... Batman whooping the league of shadows but struggling with Raas Al Ghul... Electra vs The Hand... Kitty Pryde... Snakeeyes in GI Joe (he always kicks everyones ass except for Storm Shadow... also a loner... and that fight is 50-50... Because Storm Shadow wears white). Shintaro the Samuri always whoops the ninjas too, because there's always 3 of them... Hell even Jackie Chan fits into this...

Basically the more faceless ninjas you are up against the worse they will be to fight

Best reasoning I found for this was online... Basically in a fight there is a limited amount of ninja ability available... if you're the only ninja on your team you get it all and therefore kick ass... If there is an army of ninjas they all get a tiny little bit (basically the costume and that's it) and then get an ass whooping dished out to them.

Mathematically this means (apparently) Threat = 1/N (where N is the number of Ninjas)

Apparently this also applies to other groups... Vampires, Werewolves, Special Forces Commandos, Bad Ass Gangstas, Predators, Aliens, Flesh Eating Bugs, Demons, Jedi and any other "elite/scary" adversary you can think of...
Zombies are another group this law heavily applies too... When the zompocalypse is breaking out nothing seems to be able to stop those zombies and they eat 99% of the world. But after a couple of days suddenly a massive horde has developed and it's childs play to take them out/sneak past them/do whatever it is you have to do to save the day/escape/kill them all etc...

So clearly the number of ninjas involved in the fight with the pirates is going to be really important... 1 ninja = pirates in trouble, army of ninjas = ninjas eating cannon ball. I think we can write off ninjas in the fight if they outnumber the pirates, and write them off also as they move towards even numbers... 4 ninjas or less I think they're going to have a good chance, more than 10 I'd say no chance and 1 ninja and it's all over for the pirates...

The other important factor is what colour are the ninjas wearing? From my late 80s early 90s ninja movie watching I've sussed out the general heirachy... Red, Blue and Grey ninjas are hopeless, Black ninjas are definitely the baseline strength for ninjas (adhering closely to the inverse strength law) and the white ninja is superior in all ways (so superior he doesn't even need to wear a camoflage colour and can in fact wear bright unstainable (have you noticed this? the white ninja never even gets dirty) white and still be invisible. Other colours are harder to factor in... Camoflage pattern ninja costumes clearly kick ass... but I don't think they could ever take out a white ninja. Against a black ninja the law of inverse strength is clearly going to be the deciding factor. This puts camoflage (and most other colour choices) on par with a black ninja.

so White > Black (or "other" colours) > Red, Blue and Grey.

Oh and the more "tech" a ninja has the worse they are... kinda... Send ninjas in with "modern" weapons (guns/grenades/etc) and they're going to get whooped regardless of numbers or colours. But more futuristic tech and it becomes more related to the number of them... Hence Snakeeyes can use a gun and his funky ninja suit happily because he is always alone. But a group of ninjas with high tech suits and lasers will go down even faster than an army of traditional ninjas.

The only exception to this is Storm Shadow from GI Joe... Fighting Snakeeyes is always a 50-50 for him... Obviously the law of strength is in play (unless Storm Shadow is the only Cobra Ninja involved Snakeeyes will win). Storm Shadow has the advantage in his white suit and traditional weaponry, but Snake Eyes wins out with "hero" factor... That's why a fight between the two is always so close... They're so finely balanced...

So that's a lot of procrastination written up... I'll start my assignment tomorrow

Love, Hugs and Kisses