Eurovision 2012

So I'm a week late... which is pretty close to how I run with deadlines at work atm too, anyway the Eurovision was run and won (by Azerbaijan and Sweden respectively) and I thought I'd put in a quick post to keep up with the last few years.

I was in B-town playing in the B-town stampede over the weekend which meant I didn't get to catch the Eurovision with as much focus as normal. I got to see semi one with people arriving towards the end, the beginning of semi two and I was home for the final. This means I didn't really get to see all the entries to try and judge the weirdest of the lot... although Montenegro's Rambo Amadeus had to come close... followed by Austria's Trackshittaz (although I think Rambo has everyone beaten this year for the weird factor... Austria just draw close on the shit factor... and the looking creepy factor).

Again I didn't come close to picking the winner, but it was pretty obvious it was going to be Sweden by round 8. The only real surprise was how well Albania went with that terribly creepy chick that they had. Moldova (whom was apparently left the Sunstroke Project before their 2010 Eurovision tilt) finished middle of the pack-ish which is good because I do love their entries (although disappointingly he changed his shorts and there wasn't the bride fighting... although the choreography was hilarious)... and the fact the Russian grannies did as well as they did is pretty cool too. I thought Italy would have done better. I also felt Norway deserved a better place (although I think Sweden stole a lot of it's votes).

Unsurprisingly the host guy was creepy as hell, but the other two chicks weren't bad... The hosts are slowly (very very slowly) improving over the years... now it's generally only one that is toe curlingly horrifying rather than both/all three. There was also a lot of "Azerbaijan Land of boring boring" in between songs which I was fairly certain would be there.

So Sweden won... which at least means they will be able to afford to host it next year... that's a good thing

I was also going through my draft posts here (there's a few blog post idea's there that I couldn't be assed writing up properly yet) and decided fuck it... I'll just add the vid links here without any segue into them at all

so as a bonus here are two of my favourite muppet clips ever

Sax and Violence (with two of my fav muppets) and Marvin Sugg's Muppaphone

Love hugs and Kisses
ANt

Eurovision 2012 - Where the hell is Baku?

I'm not dead... I just have a job...

I feel a bit like Axecop...  definitely the no breakfast and the time of my job being "always"... I've been working some stupidly long hours and don't really feel like I have much time for faffing around anymore. =( In particular the periodic 5am wake ups and Saturday shifts (not to mention the 5am Saturday wake ups) are tough... especially when they're on top of a 40 hour 9 to 5 week (that is generally closer to a 830 to 530 day)

oh well

Anyway I forced myself to log on and make a post about the eurovison just to keep up with what seems to be one of the central topics to this blog.

For those who don't remember (and I'm going on memory here) last year Azerbaijan beat Sweden (my tip for victory) late in the voting with that creepy duet between the young guy that looked skeevy and the older chick who didn't know she was way to old to be singing and looking longingly at the young skeevy guy... I wasn't a fan... but that means Baku, capital of Azerbaijan is hosting the event... and except for where Azerbaijan is, that Baku is the capital and that it has fought a few wars with neighbouring Armenia I know 2/5ths of fuck all about the country...so I did what everyone does and googled it. and came up with the following get to know Azerbaijan facts:

• Apparently funerals are a big deal with hundreds of guest and big outdoor tents with professional caterers costing like 1/3rd of the average salary in a year...
• Freestyle wrestling the national sport along (I won't even bother with the jokes)
• Chess and backgammon as national past times (again no jokes)

 then I came across this charmer from the CIA factbook "local scientists consider the Abseron Yasaqligi (Apsheron Peninsula) (including Baku and Sumqayit) and the Caspian Sea to be the ecologically most devastated area in the world because of severe air, soil, and water pollution; soil pollution results from oil spills, from the use of DDT pesticide, and from toxic defoliants used in the production of cotton"
 hmmm sounds like an exciting place.

Apparently in the 80s Azerbaijan was a big tourism place (and part of the Soviet Union) with that dying off in the 90s thanks to yet another Armenia/Azerbaijan conflict. And all the tourist attractions I could see in my (very quick) interweb search involved things being old and "cultural", which admittedly sounds a bit better than Moldova's "organised crime and people smuggly" and I'd still like to go there (Moldova) so I shouldn't mock them to mercilessly (but I probably will because I'm in a mood).

Anyway I think the eurovision could be seen as a big deal by the Azerbaijan government... which in itself is a worry... but I would then guess we're going to be in for a good couple of hours worth of "look at our culture" during the show... which is always painful...
With 42 countries entering I really can't be assed looking at any of them in advance (except for one... more on that later) so I'll just list out my pre-eurovision thoughts

• Spain's entry will be terrible... they don't care and they definitely don't want to be stuck hosting next year (because it's expensive) so they need to make sure they don't win... And given they're "big 4" (or is it "big 5" now Italy is back) they automatically get into the final... so that halves their chance of losing, so they need to make sure they don't win
• Italy is back... still 
• And on that note apparently Jedward (that horrible red cordial and ADHD overdose from Ireland in 2011) is back... Last year I was horrified that if they did well there would be copycats... I never dreamed they'd pull a Lena (who I actually liked) and be back....
• Will anyone vote for Greece (besides the 12 points they ALWAYS get from Cyprus)... I know I said this before and Opa did well but this year has got to increase the political tension (at least Germany and Greece probably won't vote for each other)
• England are entering Englbert Humperdinkelbert in some vague attempt to look like they're being serious (therefore giving them the right to bitch when noone votes for them) but not actually risk winning and having to host it
• One entry I have seen in advance was Russia... because they were the first entry to qualify. It's better than Russia's normal entries

And finally I googled the Moldovan entry... every year they delight me and they still haven't dropped the ball. I won't go into my love affair with Moldovan Eurovision here (it has its own post on the blog already) but I will say watch this entry... hilarious and insane and the bestest shorts ever worn by man... "This trumpet makes you mine girl"... no I'm pretty sure it's the shorts that make me yours dude... not to mention the bride fighting and riding... seriously what is up with that country... hilarious

Love Hugs and Kisses
ANt

Who want's to go to Moldova with me?

(or lets go watch Moldovan Idol)

I've had something of a love affair with Moldova since my first glance at the country (outside of a cryptic reference from Prince Vigo in Ghostbusters 2) with their opening Eurovision performance in 2005 with Bunica Bate Toba (the first year they entered)... Zdob si Zdub are apparently a completely legit (even if their name means nothing and their website doesn't work) band based in Chişinău (the Capital) who have opened for some big name acts... These guys were also the entry for Moldova in 2011 with So Lucky.

Anyway their discography is follows

• 1996 – Hardcore Moldovenesc (Moldovan Hardcore) [honestly I'd probably buy an album called that if I saw it for sale]
• 1999 – Tabăra Noastră (Our camp)
• 1999 – Zdubii bateţi tare (Zdub Guys Beat It Hard) [SOOOOOO many jokes to be made]
• 2000 – Remixes
• 2001 – Agroromantica
• 2002 – Рок Энциклопедия (Rock Encyclopedia)
• 2003 – 450 De Oi (450 Sheep) [Sheep... right...]
• 2006 – Ethnomecanica
• 2010 - Белое Вино/Красное вино (White Wine/Red Wine)

And this isn't mentioning the interweb hurrah over last years Moldovan Entry by the Sunstroke Project and Olia Tira called Run Away (aka "saxman"). Hell Saxman became something of a thing briefly... (hell just google "Epic Sax Guy)

Other Moldovan entries include a brittney spears impersonator in 2006, a semi decent violin powered number in 2007 with flags, a terrible dropping of the ball in 2008 (but picking up of a teddy) and in 2009 the prancey back up dancers were all that saved it...

Anyway Moldova is completely landlocked surrounded by Romania (whom they were a part of in between the wars and stole their flag off) and the Ukraine (so guess who they vote for/with in the Eurovision?). It's apparently one of the poorest countries in Europe, would dearly like to join the EU (But isn't allowed because it's so poor) and had the distinction of being the first country to vote itself a communist president (in the post soviet period).

Trawling the CIA database I did find it amusing that there are only 11 airports in Moldova, with only 5 of them even having sealed runways...

I did seriously think about trying to get into Moldova last year on my trip, but given there are painful visa proceedures and not a lot to do unless you're big on corruption, organised crime and communism I gave it a miss... Apparently it's a big source for people trafficking. A post soviet collapse lead to a lovely little civil war that isn't completely resolved too...

Wikipedia gives it a long write up from the middle ages to today and what travelly type info I gathered can be limited to this

1) Moldova does wine

2) They have a museum

3) Monasteries

4) More wine

Wikipedia also has mention of surprising growth in the popularity of rugby union in Moldova... go figure

So turning to the "experts" on travel... The lonely planet website... the following arises

• The language is confusing... from the actual language to whether or not it is even different to Romanian
• Just getting there is a pain in the ass if you aren't in Romania, The Ukraine or Hungary already and you can't get a visa at the border when you arrive by train (my fav method) leading to you getting turfed at the border or arrested. PLUS Australians need a letter of invitation...
• Street crime however is low (because there aren't enough visitors for this to be a legit occupation... nice to know) 
• A direct quote probably sums up the organised crime point... "In Chişinău fleets of BMWs and Mercedes dominate traffic, while fashionably dressed youths strut down boutique-lined avenues and dine in fancy restaurants. How did this excessive wealth find its way to the capital of one of Europe's poorest countries? Answer: you don’t wanna know and we ain’t asking. The stunning contrast between rich and poor is only overshadowed by the conspicuously bold acts committed by individuals who are clearly above the law and shamelessly conduct themselves as such."

I guess all considered I might not be getting there any time soon... I'll just buy the album =P

Love, Hugs and Kisses

ANt

The Eurovision Song Contest 2011 Final

So Blogger is up and running so I can tap away as it's on

I'm going to say from the start that whatever entry wins tends to spawn a few copycats in the years to follow (Hell Germany sent the same girl)... so if Ireland win I'm going to be fairly grumpy...

The opening was pretty interesting, the guy can certainly play, but I still don't like him... But Anke is has grown on me massively

Onwards to the contest... same as last year I'll only add something for countries I've written about previously if I think of something new

Finland- "Not quite Lordi"... Well put Julia ( I do *heart* Julia too)

Bosnia-

Denmark- Shouldn't be called Friend in London, should be called "Stupid Haircut 5ive"

Lithuania- "That's right! She's the one that gets older the closer the camera goes" thanks Steve

Hungary- Michael Bolton

Ireland- The Irish equivalent of a Red Cordial overload... If they win I will hold Ireland solely responsible for the absurdity of next years competition

Sweden- Dark Horse

Estonia- I didn't notice the magic tricks last time...

Greece- [insert joke here about stereo mike being a stupid name too]

Russia- The jackets didn't spell his name in the semi

France- Something something something Yoann, Corsican Opera... Bit of a change of pace from every other Eurovision entry. The Backdrop of the Sun coming out was pretty cool... Beats the hell out of Piss off Jedward

Italy- First time I've ever seen an Italian Eurovision entry... Better than I thought they were going to be. I'd go so far as to say I quite liked this

Switzerland-Clearly she doesn't have to concentrate on the lyrics that much

UK- I wonder if it upsets the UK that countries that clearly don't want to win get more points than them... They always appear to be trying so hard, yet they suck so much every single year... Not quite as shit as last year, but that was amazingly bad

Moldova- These guys are a legit Moldovan band that supports BIG name bands... Oh god I wish I could see what the Moldovan live music scene was like... And then the finish with the monocle

Germany- "taken by a stranger" is it about rape? Such an odd accent she sings in, especially after you hear her speak. I like Lena, not as good as last years but she's pretty cool... And the Australian host guy is clearly on the turps and funny

Romania- Sometimes I love Romania, sometimes it's meh... this year it's all downhill after the pants... Their like the pants from Christopher Walken's suit in Batman (which is one of my all time fav suits)... The act doesn't live up to the promise of the pants...

Austria-

Azerbaijan- The guy looks kinda like a bad ricky ponting impersonator and the whole song is a bit skeevy

Slovenia-

Iceland- Complete with spontaneous kiss on the cheek... "we don't use banks anymore"

Spain- Don't try and don't care... I think they're actually really scared of winning it and then having to pay for hosting it next year... They've even stolen half of the safety dance...

Ukraine- One needs to wonder what will be copied from this entry next year if they win/do well

Serbia-

Georgia- "Out Turkeyed Turkey"... Good call

That suit worn by the vote collating entertainment dude was AMAZING... But I think there is something sinister happening with his teeth. And then Anke needed to be carried around by that dickwit...

VOTING TIME

Oh how I love voting... I called Sweden at home as a potential winner based on the fact it was dancey and annoying but not over the top like Ireland
12 points from Netherlands for Denmark? Nearly as surprising as 12 points from Cyprus to Greece...
Wow, Finland didn't vote for Denmark, but Norway still voted for Sweden and Finland...
So block voting is back... But at 12 rounds in without a clear winner is a bit unusual...
21 rounds in and it's still kinda close with Ukraine/Azerbajian/Sweden up there...
At least Ireland and the UK are crashing out...
30 rounds in and it was still pretty close with Azerbaijann looking solid over the Ukraine and Sweden... Azerbaijan was creepy and sucked I'm not happy
Towards the end of the voting Azerbajian was pretty solidly in front with Sweden lagging behind and Italy coming out of nowhere to be 3rd, that's nice... But Azerbaijan still sucked massively

Azerbaijan suck... but Italy to pip Sweden for 2nd on the last vote was a pretty impressive return to eurovision

But just one last time... Azerbajian was creepy and sucked

Love, Hugs and Kisses
ANt

The Eurovision Song Contest 2011 Semi Finals

Now normally I'd try and divide these two events into seperate blog posts and write them as they go on/just after they finish... However blogspot was being lame and not letting people log in... So I had to write my notes in word and paste them up here once I could log in. So here is my views of the semis in one hit

Countries named in bold are through to the final

Semi Final One or, "Jah ist funny Jah"

First up, that chick in purple, the "comedian" is batshit insane... And the Germans having a comedian? And they’re going to try and be funny? This could be rough... I'm filled with dread

Poland... Well she had pretty eyes and was kinda hot I guess, but clearly there’s a distinct relationship between backing singerness and pantslessness.

Norway... Entering in Swahili... I didn’t pick that, even if every second street corner has a Nigerian selling weed. I can't decide between what my dear "cousin" Eirik said "She's a wonderful representative of the multiethnicity of Norway. But the people of Eastern Europe don't like black people, so that's why she's out, at least that's my theory" or possibly what Øystein said "She can't sing. That's my theory"

Albania... Female ballad with creepy fingernails... and shit

Armenia... WTF? Boxing? Maybe there’s more in the translation? Or did Rocky only just make it to Armenia? Oh and they made a boxing ring... still one needs to wonder why

Turkey... It's a Turkish entry so someone needs to take their clothes off. He’s a bit sinister... Looks a bit like a Jackie Chan bad guy. And there was a nude lady in cage standing on her own head... then turned the cage around and she turned into a bird

Serbia... I guess the 60s just hit Serbia, but every year I hate the Serbians... this year less than others... but never mind I’m over this entry too

Russia... A Russian boy band fronted by a dancing with the stars on wood and ice winner... Totally a Russian Luke Perry, Alexi must be the Russian version of the name Dylan 

Switzerland... Ukulele! That is all

Georgia... That’s a costume... And rap sucks... But I think that they think they’re hardcore, someone should correct that... “Go back to the 90s and take Vanilla Ice with you!”... thanks Steve

Finland... They’re just copying the Belgians from last year... but even lamer... I appreciate an environmental message probably more than the next guy... but seriously lame

Malta... what perfectly plucked eyebrows, that is all

San Marino... Yes I do mind, go away... Ballads suck

Croatia... The man in the hat... Oh dear... He’s touching people... and no surprise she runs to another stage after he touches her. I’m definitely concerned about that man

Iceland... That’s one of the biggest adherents to the low bass school I’ve seen for a while

Hungary... That’s quite a ring... and a dress/toga. Plus I find heels so huge the singer can’t move amusing

Portugal... What a most glorious moustache. The Iberian peninsula does not give a shit... They’re not even trying anymore... It’s like a kids band... except for that guy on the end in camo... suspect much? And the construction guy... not much better

Lithuania... Ballad... LAME

Azerbaijan... Shit... and the male lead looks like a potential kiddie fiddler... And God is crying tears of fire

Greece... Every year the Greeks appear more and more out of control... “Stand back! I have a hat and I’m surrounded by funky people”...  Rap still sux though

Quick host interlude... seriously that guy hosting is an absolute TIT... and the comedian a bit out of control and just isn’t funny, but at least she’s recycling her jokes... recycling is good...

The drum group where quite cool, and WAY german...  Vy are you climbing zee man? Zer is nothing up zere! Get off zee drums! Zee drums are not for valking!

But there's a different Eurovision man in charge... awww

Semi Final Two or "the comedian host is growing on me... that guy is still a tit though

And she changed her dress from that one armed sail number, then she snorted when she laughed ... She's not so bad... but that guy is a tit

And every time I see that circular shot of the singer on stage I remember that it's actually done by a little man running onto stage with a camera... hilarious

Bosnia... Look look a triangle and an old man... The Balkans are weird

Austria... Ballad... Lame... The Austrian entry was my favourite for years based on the insanity... then they left and the Ukraine and Moldova (oh Moldova <3 ) took the role of most insane country. Now Austria is back and being serious and lame... disappointed

The Netherlands... I can’t help but notice there are more than 3 of them... I never  like the Netherlands

Belgium... Impressive that it was entirely vocals... and quite a haircut on the beatboxer... that is all... Should've done better I think

Slovakia... Yeah in and out I feel that the Slovakians choose their entries based on looks... The song sucks

Ukraine... Always mental and always an entry I look forward to... And a sand artist, interesting idea for a song contest... I'd be tempted to go there based solely on their Eurovision stuff

Moldova... My other favourite country... Not just because they seem to love ska but every single year they are out of control and this year is no change...Those hats are up there with the devo flower pot hats... And a unicycle! And a monocle! On that note, is there a Moldovan Idol? I would totally watch that

Sweden... Still smarting from last years failure to qualify for the first time ever Sweden has poured a shitload of money and gay onto their entry... And as observed by my brother that’s the first time I’ve seen an odd number of sleeves in a boy band

Cyprus... Every year the Cypriot entry sucks balls... that is all

Bulgaria... They’re a bit backwards, to quote Lister “they’re Bulgarians, they have very simple tastes”... Nothing about this stands out to me

FYR Macedonia... always sux... No change from that trend... I have a megaphone and a microphone, together they cancel out to make a normalphone

Israel... “Is this the transvestite again?” “Yes Mum” “That’s lucky for her then”

Slovenia... Clearly she won Slovenia Idol... Listen to her range

Romania... Each year it seems to be a 50-50 on whether or not I like them... But a fantastic pair of pants and fedoras makes feel they don’t suck as much as they apparently do suck

Estonia... No comment, bubblegum and lame... If it gets through go get ice cream or something

Belarus... I Love Belarus, well that’s a lie... I love Moldova

Latvia... Never a standout... Boring as usual

Denmark... Stupid hair and a boring band number... Not quite Wild Stalyns battle of the bands winning

Ireland... OMG Jedward is their TV show? And two guys singing a song called lipstick? 8 shoulder pads between the two of them? Oh Dear... and this is one of the favourites? Oh Double Dear... “Next season of the tv show should be called STFU jedward”

The we had some classical breakdancing... Much better than to Rap and our comedian host is totally not german, she tries to be funny and seems to be actually enjoying herself...

Well at least moldova made it through

Love, Hugs and Kisses

ANt

Pictures from Oslo

So luckily Cam has a card reader so I can upload some of my pictures so far. I've already filled ONE memory card.

The View from Eirik's flat of Oslo

The Norwegian nudity plaza monument

Two tragic Finnish fans at Eurovision (and me)

First mic break of Eurovision at the end of my row

A Norwegian Stave Church

As you can see kinda cool so far

Love Hugs and Kisses

ANt

And the winner was...

Well we all know that now...

I didn't pick it though, i didn't think she'd have the ooomf to get through. And as always the 5 rounds into the voting winner system came true. But it's nice to see Germany win for the second time given how much money they pump into it. Just as nice as it is to see england lose with that terrrible terrible entry. I felt a little sorry for Moldova, they got 10 points in the first round and only scored 27 overall. The sorrow there may be related to the fact that moldova was one of my favourite entries. Talking favourites Turkey did WAY better than I hoped with their robot. Second place is a pretty good effort.

So I watched the final at Eirik's place with a bunch of his friends. It was pretty cool and lots of fun. I've never watched the eurovision with people who get into entries that much (to the point of jumping and yelling everytime Norway got some votes).

For those of you who care... so well just me really here are the final score placings for everyone. First Semi, Second Semi and the Final. Interesting to note is Romania coming 3rd in the final but only making 4th in the semi... And the other funny hah hah is Switzerland only getting 2 points in total...

So where to next?

Well I've booked a flight to Frankfurt tomorrow, and I'll spend a day or two faffing around there before I meet Lex, Vou and Robbo at Rock am Ring. Such an over the top line up I can't wait.

After that I'm going to go to Munich (maybe) and Berlin (definitely... I've heard great things about Berlin and I was to do these tours). That then leads me towards Mecca *ahem* I mean Legoland in Billund, Denmark with Cam.

From there I'm going to follow Cam south to France, where he's in Nantes. Then I'll do the obligatory trip to Paris to see the tower etc. Then (fingers crossed) Rosie and I are going to try and go to Greece together. Athens (of course) and then hopefully staying with my friend Karen in Xanthi. Then I want to go to Istanbul.

From there things get a little vague. I would really like to go to Jerusalem (just to see what the fuss is about) and then maybe float through Eastern Europe to Prague for the WUCCs. Then Anson and I are looking at going to Croatia (Dubrovnik and Split) on our/my way to the U23s in Florence. I might try and do a day or two in Rome too.

So that's how the trip is playing out... should be pretty cool.

Løve hugs and kisses

Ånt

ps I had to write this somewhere. I had a dream the other night/morning about playing a really competitive game of soccer... I hate playing soccer. But when I got up and told Eirik he said ''well I was dreaming that you were making me eat spiders. You had them in your bag and pulled one out and said it's gone off... then broke off a leg and made me eat it anyway''

I thought that was pretty funny

This is Oslo calling... Dear god the Eastern Europeans are serious about this...

This is your on the ground eurovision correspondent... and indeed probably the only eurovision correspondent you know...

So I haven't been writing as much the last few days so I'm a little bit behind on my eurovision updates. I've got two Eurovision events to write about now. The Second Semi Final and the Dress Rehearsal I went to... The ''Big Event'' is tonight and I'm watching it with Eirik and a few of his Norwegian friends. Then we will go out in the city afterwards.

Anyway The SECOND SEMI...

First of all I went in a bit later this time so I was on a crowded bus and when I got to the arena it was more crowded generally... Mainly due to the time I think, rather than it being more packed out. I had my bag xrayed, so they upped the security too.

The Swedes and the Irish were out in force... with Lithuania and Azerbaijan having reasonable numbers in the crowd too. It was quite funny seeing groups of drunken Irish and Swedish guys singing songs and chants like it was some football event.

My seat was on the otherside of the arena this time... a slightly worse angle but in the front row so I had heaps more leg space =)

I think the Swedes were cheating however giving everyone in the audience glowsticks to wave (I typed this ''glowstix'' the first time... oh how cool am I). That got a lot of the crowd on side... We love free stuff.

I think this semi was the semi final for those who could afford to pay extra for fireworks and stuff. And the pre warm up screen typer was even worse this time... if that was possible. Maybe like me they blew all their good stuff in the first semi?

Other observations... All the good stuff you've heard about Swedish girls is true, and western/northern Europe see this as kinda a tacky and gay event... But the Eastern Europeans are fucking serious as death about this... They don't just want to win, it's a matter of National Pride that they win.

I think it's actually a great thing Australia DOESN'T enter the eurovision... This way we don't get stuck having to support the Australian entry which lets face it would suck balls 99% of the time... MASSIVELY suck balls... like Australian idol only way way way worse.

I was sitting amongst a bunch of Latvians and Cypriots and the Cypriot girls are going bonkers for everything and know all the words to the songs. There was also a coupe of freaking weird Armenian guys dancing and going berserk just down the row from me... Lucky the security guard keep telling them to sit down...

But watching the crowd the Swedes were the kings and queens of the dress up at this semi and there was a fair number of people taking photos of complete strangers. Generally the crowd was a little more nuts at this event, you even had the Lithuanians marching around in circles.

It was the exact same warm up lady and dance group doing the exact same warm up routine. I guess when you've gone to all the trouble to learn those eurovision and abba songs you'd want to do them more than once. Only some slight variations in warm up were used, such as the suss lines ''will you send all your love onto this little man'' and we will be ''showering with love''.... ewww sounds like a one way trip to STD land to me. The other line that was a bit of an oops was the warm up lady (who was a bit kerrie anne kennerly I think) saying ''See this big camera here? This motherfucker is very dangerous''... I loved it.

And now onwards onto the countries entries.

Lithuania... This entry was clearly my favourite here. The group around me went nuts. They had pretend instruments and a pant rip off... Everything you could need in a eurovision entry.

Armenia... This was really really lame. The chick is the bustiest performer in the eurovision and the little Armenian man down the row completely lost his shit over it. This entry also started the trend at this semi for fire shooting on stage and I could feel the heat even in my seat (40m away)

Israel... A ballad in Hewbrew... hmmm not the most beautiful language. Also he was very breathey... see my euro semi one post to see my views on that. This was also the first entry I noticed an early break to some of the swedish glowsticks... A little early much? As Maddog would say... FAIL. Additionally this guy has really weird ears...

Denmark... Always an entry I don't like... nice to see some trends remain. Fancy split boards and fireworks won't stop this entry still being painfully lame.

Switzerland... I had low expectations here even if they won the first eurovision. Once again look at his weird ears... And do you pay extra to enter with fire? You could smell the smoke/gas in the crowd... Oh and the swiss backing guitar man never seemed to make it to camera... poor guy

Sweden... The glowsticks worked better than I thought they would. A ballad but the crowd was onside because of the glowsticks, I wonder what would happen if they won the final, would they have to give everyone two sets of sticks? It was funny how after she stopped playing the guitar you could still hear it being played... I also saw the whole green room clapping for the entries as they go back stage... that's nice

Azerbaijan... Another power ballad... Drip drop... hmm. I felt sorry for the guy, al he did was help her dance and she was tearing into him.

Ukraine... God they dropped the ball this year... The highlight is her starting with a jedi hood on... Clearly this is a wind powered ballad. I think she must've won Ukrainian idol. The camera run by the man is pretty cool though.

The Netherlands... This entry was surprisingly popular and I saw a fucking blow up kangaroo in the front of the pit . An interesting start and the little clock people kept up their moves the whole time. The chick singer was dancing to herself before the entry even started though... I'm not sure how I feel about that.

It also appears the Lithuanians in the green room spent the whole time shaking their sparkly asses.

Romania... Crowd popular entry here and fireworks just like I assumed... I kinda wanted the piano to be set on fire too though. The also had little fire guns... YAY. But is it safe for her to be wearing that plastic that close to fire?

Slovenia... Did cock rock only just hit Slovenia? This is really crap. Hilarious, but definitely not good. Goodbye

Ireland- The Irish crowd went nuts and for some reason had a soccer ''ole'' chant happening. This chick has won eurovison before in Irelands three victories straight. A dull but popular ballad.

Bulgaria... WTF is with all the wings and stuff? The bodypaint and sparkles and wings had me in the mind of the old 80s cartoon silverhawks... anyone remember that? Thinking about it, didn't the silverhawks play space guitar to beat the badguys? And the lead singer shares a haircut with one of the characters I'm sure... I think these are the fittest dancers in the Eurovision... but they still look kinda creepy.

Cyprus... Will give the 12 points to GREECE! Sorry I pre empted myself there

Crap, but the girls in the crowd you see going nuts were just behind me... Oh so lame an entry... the twilight of eurovision if you listen to the lyrics.

Croatia... Feminem... I exhausted my jokes about this group name last time they competed. Oh so very very meh... And breathey =( But they do have very very long legs and a lame love heart end.

Georgia... These guys were flyering out the front asking for votes... Clearly they're not confident. And the artists appear not to have shoes or shirts... I liked the specialist floor dancing chick who was barely on camera. I swear she didn't stand up under her own power the whole time.

Turkey... Another favorite of mine... Every 2 years or so the Turkish entry is hilarious and this is one of those years. They had awesome 90s shaped guitars with some great posing from the guitarist.

But that's neglecting the most awesome part of this entry (besides general hilarious emoness) which is the FUCKING ROBOT! A robot that SHOOTS FIRE! and dances and then strips down to a scantily clad woman... But it's a ROBOT THAT SHOOTS FIRE! I repeat A ROBOT THAT SHOOTS FIRE.

Finishing the entries off meant I could stretch my legs... that was AWESOME! and then they had a last place tribute... that was brilliant, but terrible, but mainly brilliant.

The post vote closing video was fucking weird again... and then they talked to some Australians... different ones to the ones I'd seen so there is at LEAST 7 of us there

Then moving onto the Dress Rehearsal I went to. This was the Friday night and the exact same as the final, but without a winner and just for some camera shots in advance. More people attended than I thought would, but obviously less than at the final. It was a lot more chilled out and had a lot of Norwegians and families and stuff. Much less flag waving except for some dick waving an Australian flag... clearly we just don't get it.

They xrayed my bag again and the lady recognised me from before... the repeat offender terrorist I am. Once again it was the same host and jokes for the warm up and clearly the ''big motherfucker'' of a camera joke went down a treat as it was repeated. There was more Norwegian and French in it though but I could almost do that job now. Some of the jokes were getting better laughs though, I guess practice makes perfect.

Although to spoil an aspect of the show for you the audience does some dancing... and yes I remember the moves and can teach you them. It was ambitious but worked better than I thought. Also everyone has to stand because apparently the princess is coming.

The show is cranked up for the final though... Opening with last years winner was VERY popular with the crowd... it is still catchy though. Look at the backup dancers dancing like human pretzels.

So the order of entries is below... but I've commented on most so I'll only write about the 5 new ones and anything else I've noticed

1. Azerbaijan
2. Spain... LOOK AT HIS HAIR... oh and the weirdo dancing. Lucky for them they auto qualify, because this is the visual and musical equivalent of eating 3 bags of fairy floss. Look for the bonehead in the black suit too.
3. Norway... No violins like I assumed... This entry is so boring I couldn't even generate a strong enough opinion negatively...
4. Moldova... I love it... One of my favourites. I love her costume and the air hump during sax solo. And the violinist seems to think he's metal.
5. Cyprus
6. Bosnia
7. Belguim- This could be a dark horse and do well. But to make a point it's not just him and his guitar, there are 2 other dudes on stage at the back.
8. Serbia
9. Belarus
10. Ireland
11. Greece
12. UK... They start in boxes and then it goes downhill. He is crap and reminds me of Ian Thorpe. I bet he'd enjoy a pearl necklace like thorpie.... OOoooohhhh! Zing! And to those of you who think I'm gross, no I'm just Rock and Roll (and if you get THAT reference I will love you long time).
13. Georgia
14. Turkey =)
15. Albania
16. Iceland
17. Ukraine
18. France... Clearly they got all their Frenchness out last year. This entry is pretty good, if the voting blocks work for them they could be a winner too. Eastern Europe can stop it though. Lots of energy and the crowd loves it, but the performance itself seems almost chaotic like they're making it up on the spot.
19. Romania
20. Russia
21. Armenia
22. Germany... Well she's cute (even if it's illegal for me to say so given her age) and looks like she's having more fun on stage than any other entry (she almost looks like she's having fun on singstar)... She won't win though. Catchier and poppier than last year and I like her tattoo.
23. Portugal
24. Israel
25. Denmark

They then did the crowd dancing stuff which will work ok I think... as I said I know the moves and will bust them out for you. They then tried to pretend the voting, and I wasn't going to sit through an hour of PRETEND voting so I left to go out in the city.

In summary I think France COULD win... Serbia will be the eastern european/balkan favourite (booo) and Belgium is a dark horse to do well. But my favourites (whom I will be voting for, for the first and last time ever) are Moldova and Turkey

So now it's time to bring on the main event...

Løve, hugs ænd kisses

ÅNt

And so it begins... or ''God I wish the Serbians in front of me would settle down''

Disclaimer- The following post contains sweeping racial generalisations, bias, some probably quite offensive comments and musical opinions by someone who couldn't even master the recorder... If you are offended by any of the following content I don't care, go read a different blog. That is all.


Tuesday, Stardate uhhh Norway.Oslo.whatever I don't watch Star Trek...


I'll start very briefly with the NON Eurovision stuff... Ahhh I went wandering around Oslo in the Morning... That's it. I still look the wrong way at intersections however. But I do like the fact my days in Norway have generally started late with a sleep in till 10ish minimum and then sitting up till midnight ish (aka an hour or two after the sun goes down). Very well meshed with my internal body clock.
But my day really started just before 6pm when I hopped a bus (all by myself like a big boy) to Telenor Arena for the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final Number 1. I should mention that the first people I saw on my way in were 2 Australian men and an English chick waving Australian flags, and then I met two other Australians on the bus home... So it's not just me, Julia Zemiro and that guy whose name I can't remember as the only ''Straylins'' here.


I guess I should warn you in advance that I've been keeping not so much a diary/journal as just a notebook of what I've been doing and thinking while here, and I've been using that as the basis for my blog posts. Most have been a page of notes at best, these notes took up 16 PAGES... so strap yourself in, this is going to be a LONG one... I fear I've unleashed a beast with this whole blogging thing...


Anyway... after hemorrhaging a distressing amount of kroner I'm now proudly in possesion of a Eurovision tshirt (I will need to change the size of), some button badges (yay) and a program guide for the whole song contest. I'm not at one with the crowd however as I don't have a flag with me. Even the Aussie guys I met on the way in had flags, although they were a bit yobbish so I didn't really want to hang with them. Now if you know me you'd know I'm not the biggest flag waver at any stage... so I was never going to be waving a flag at the Eurovision. But that being said a giant blow up Kangaroo or Australian Geographic Penguin would've gone down a TREAT last night =P


At first there weren't a lot of over the top flag wavers around, but very early on I did see two (I'm assuming old and gay) Finnish guys in white Finnland suits. I posed for a photo with them, but I can't upload it yet so you'll just have to imagine it. The Finns were/are clearly the lords of the dress up at this semi... You will be able to see the massive block of Finnish fans during the broadcast. However the Formeryugoslavrepublicofmacedonia (the country with the biggest pain in the ass name in the eurovision) fans are clearly the masters of the flag wearing... at least at the Eurovision. I'm not sure they are in the same league as the Shire folk at Big Day Out with their Australian flag capes and bodypaint and racism, but they definitely do like the flag-as-cape technique in the FYR Macedonia... Hopefully with less ''kiss the flag'' ''love it or leave it'' bullshit. On that note I also had a shave Monday (so no seedy travel beard from me this time) but goddamn there were some terrible moustaches on display.
I also saw a group of like a billion (or maybe 30, it's hard to tell) Latvian kids walking through the crowd chanting ''Hey Ho Latvia'' and ''Aisha! Aisha! Aisha!'' blowing bubbles and generally wearing red and white. Part of me thought ''god I hope I'm not sitting next to them'' but another part of me thought it would be pretty funny. FYI I didn't sit near them, they were way up the back.


I think the average eurovision spectator is a fair bit fatter than the Norwegian average. Just based on observations last night. It was the first time this trip I've noticed fat people floating around at least... Damn the Norwegians and their general sexifiedness... Although there have been isolated pockets of fans really increasing the average size... In a turn of phrase that I think only Ryan will understand I saw a lady on the bus who must've been from ''Slovakia''...


Another amusing observation I've made is everyone at the Eurovision seems to think everyone else at the eurovision is insane and crazy to be there. But not themselves of course... all except for the Australians... We know that everyone there (including ourselves) is insane.


Flicking through the program before the event I came made a few observations.

1. As always Lithuania looks like their entry (East European Funk) is insane and hilarious. I look forward to it greatly.
2. Again as always there are too many ballads
3. The Ukraine and Latvia seem to have hired the same Eurovision creative consultant and sent the same entry. A lone blonde female singer called Aisha for Latvia and a lone blonde female singer called Alyosha for the Ukraine. Making my disappointment with the Ukraine for not sending their normal insane entry all the stronger.
4. Azerbaijan have decided to move into more traditional eurovision directions (ie splishy splashy bimbly flimby song titles) with Drip Drop.
5. Russian are apparently ''making up'' a new music style with their entry... Oh dear
6. Cyprus's entry John Lilygreen and the Islanders appears to have no ''islanders'' in that Pacific Islands sense I first think about... Which made me chuckle, imagine a Eurovision entry full of Samoans and Tongans... that would be BRILLIANT.

Grabbing a drink is not the speediest (or cheapest 65K for a schooner) process but compared to festival security at home smuggling in drinks would've been pretty freakin' easy... I could think of 3-4 hidey holes you'd get checked at home they didn't check last night. Inside of the sock, back of the hood and they even skipped one whole pocket in my bag...
A thought I had in the drinks line though. I don't like it when parents dress their kids the same, I really don't like it when they dress them in opposites but when I see girls in their 20s dressed the same (and it's just casual clothing and not a uniform or planned costume) I feel really skeevy.


Walking into the arena (that's right, we're not even inside the building yet in this report) I made another observation. The two biggest fan crews last night were Finnland and FYR Macedonia, and both of these groups were split pretty well 50-50 between men and women (although given how gay the Finnish guys seemed they'd probably have preferred to have more guys there). The third biggest group was Irish fans... but they were only Irish guys... I don't think I saw a single female Irish fan. Eurovision must be a boys club in Ireland. Unsurprisingly I think the Irish fans would've out drunk any other fan group too.


The display screens also had little messages on display for everyone whilst we were finding our seats etc starting with ''the following things are mandatory'' (oh how I chuckled... ''You will all have fun NOW''). Mandatory things included ''Smiles'', ''Open Hearts'' (awwww <3)
The screen typey person then tried the standard ''Poland make some noise'' to help the organisers find where the fans where to zoom the cameras in during the broadcast. ''Russia where are you!'' just resulted in tumbleweed and crickets however... it was such a super fail I started to laugh. There's a Vlad joke in there I'm sure... but I won't bother making it.


The crowd warm up then started with a presenter urging us to fill the room with energy, love and vibrations... And I'm sure you all see the ''love vibration energy'' joke I promised myself I wouldn't make. There was a dance group doing old eurovision winning songs and then an Abba medly... Then the hosts gave us the sit down during the songs and don't wave the flags or block the cameras talk... Like 5 times... in 3 different languages.
I did also notice that it looked like the outer stands didn't even come close to selling out... the floor packed out though and that's like 10,000 people.


And finally then the show started... and the opening mic break began at the end of my row... so I missed being on camera by like 1 person. They had the Spainards next to me on I'm sure, but I bet I was out of shot. If you watch it and see to the right side of the screen a Spanish chick and a guy with glasses... I was next to him.


Also this year they're using televoting AND juries... obviously they're trying to get some of the power away from the eastern european voting blocks. I wonder if it will make any difference to the results? I seriously doubt it...


A big bonus this year was the minimal nonsense from the hosts, they really cut back on the banter (except right at the end) and that made things a lot less cheesely painful... So no host touching up the other host action =( but also no ''so awkward you feel seedy'' either.


I won't give away any of the results because I don't think it's getting shown at home till Friday or so, but I will write up some comments on the entries with my opinions.


Moldova... Cheesey pop and I loved it. The costumes are also ridiculously hilarious, the band name weird as hell and the chick gorgeous... Add in a cool plastic violin with a light and the epic sax man and you had one of my favourite entries... They picked up their act from the video on the website.


Russia... The ''new'' form of music... They look like they're stuck in the 70s and nothing seems that new. I was a bit bored... This entry will not win and was not popular with the crowd.


Estonia... Another Ho Hum entry. A weird looking man that dances like a nut. Try and watch the piano guy going headbanger beserk and the guy in the choir collapse at the end.


Slovakia... GREAT costumes and a reasonable entry. My second fav... A little bit Ruslana wild dancers but more hippy... Great bonehead from the lady in white and the dancers have sticks and rubber bands.


Finland... A crowd fav and kinda Abba like with a bit of Polka. The on stage backing guys seem to do nothing for ages and then go completely silly... There was a Finnish fan just over from me, attractive with the black tshirt and wrist bands etc that would look at home in a metal pit, and she went NUTS for this pop number...


Latvia... Well there was a lot of cloth on stage... Does that count as good? The lyrics, the song, the backing singers and everything else with this entry is pretty lame though and she looks like she either forgot her pants or is wearing a fancy dressing gown. Very breathey singing too.
Now I'm musically attrotious, but even I've learnt a lesson from the great Tay Zonday and know that you can MOVE AWAY FROM THE MICROPHONE TO BREATHE IN! I want to hear you sing, not breathe! I can breathe! I can't sing however... so do the stuff I can't do... anyway.
When she finished the latvian kiddies did go nuts.


Serbia... Well the row in front of me went insane... I don't see why. The guy is a ugly ugly man singing a crappy crappy song. And is he rapping? I don't know... The twisty ballerinas were the only good bit. I may or may not have popped on camera here... but I doubt it.


Bosnia and Herzegovina... The man in Red gave a little devil horns sign before he went on which won me over a little. Then the guitar solo in it made me think that possibly THEY think they're metal... they're not. But they still beat a ballad. Lots of smoke and red etc... Couldn't work out the point of the backers though.


So with 8 of the 17 acts over we're nearly halfway... My how time flies! (it actually did seem pretty quick by then)


Poland... Ummm yeah... An off camera screamer, bizzare costumes, ball gags or something stuck in the the dancer's mouths, weird headlock strip dancing and a ''hello boys'' splits at the end make this a weird weird entry.


Belgium... Only one guy on stage and another crowd fav... Ok I guess, he played the crowd better than he sang though. He warmed up by the end.


Malta... Crap as always. Yet again Malta send a female ballad... I'm so over their entries. Her dress looks like it inflates but later turns into a man trying to fly away she's so lame.
This entry got me thinking... to give you and idea how far I was from stage I could've hit her with an easy backhand throw or possibly a slightly tricky hammer. So I was pretty close I guess.


Albania... Well they won't win any beauty awards... and the entry is a bit ''raining men'' but it could've been worse. They can sing. The crowd control people did also grab all the scattered albanians and put them in a big group for the crowd shot.


Greece... Why is this so popular? It SUCKS and they're sending everyone bankrupt. The Serbians in front of me went nuts again too so I couldn't see... at least it sucked. The Spainish guy next to me asked the Serbs to sit down and they flat out ignored him. And since when did the Serbs love the Greeks? The band name sounds like a greek kids tv show, but I do love strobe lights... Clearly my tastes aren't crowd normal.


Portugal... She must've won Portugese Idol or something listening to her voice and watching her head twitch... She needs lessons from Tay Zonday too... see Latvia


by now I'm firmly behind Moldova and Slovakia


Formeryugoslavrepublicofmacedonia... Fucking stupid country name and SURPRISE the serbs in front of me went nuts... AGAIN. This entry wins the ''skimpy backup singers and dancers costume'' award. And who the hell is the silver suit man and why is he rapping? Even I had taken my sunglasses off by now. The guitar solo and point at the end are the only good parts of this entry.


Belarus... Apparently this is a hard country to get a visa for. Very soft and breathey... kinda lame and I couldn't work out who the twins were. Clearly this year transforming dresses are last years violin. The dresses sent the Balkan fans nuts though.
I always though the cross stage camera run was on a boom... but it's actually a little man running with a camera in all the entries... very funny.


Iceland... No the entry wasn't called ''so sorry for all the ash''. It was a big crowd fav though. And her name is Bjork too. The entry wasn't as ''boom'' as I hoped, but still kinda catchy. The Spainards next to me and the pretty finnish chick went NUTS.


In the end I liked Moldova, Slovakia the most, the Finns were ok and Albania and Iceland came out looking alright too.


There was also a camera goof, cutting to a video that didn't play... not sure that will make it to telly. I went to both the palace and nudity park in that video. The shocking part is people in the crowd actually laughing at the hosts lame jokes.


The post close of voting video is really freaking weird. What is the point? And then the interview with the South African guy... at least he didn't say what I would've. ''Why do you like Eurovision?'' ''It's so bad it is good'' isn't quite live tv stuff.


The preview of the straight to the final entries also got me thinking.

• Spain looks like it could be hilariously batshit insane
• Norway have clearly thought 1 violin equaled win so 5 violins must equal ULTRA win!
• The UK is crap... I'm calling it now
• France looks ok, it could be a winner if the translation to stage goes well
• Germany have dropped the ball from the Dita Von Teese entry last year... which is disappointing but they did get no votes

Oh and when they talk to the commissioner or whoever he is, look at his badly dyed toupee ish hair... very very funny


I won't ruin the results by saying them here... so that is where my first Eurovision experience will be wrapped up


I went out for post drinks with Eirik and some friends though and got to hear ''No speak Americano'' at an Indie bar in Norway... thought that was pretty cool... Yay Triple J unearthed! I then had the worlds WORST strongbow cider on tap... it was soooooo terrible I can't even work out how it got so bad. But I finished the night on a massive high by getting a high score on Shao-Lin's Road (if anyone can get me a copy of this I will love you long time) on some retro arcade machine... lots of fun... and I got home at 4am after the sun was up... Sunglasses back on for the walk home.


Løve Hugs ænd Kisses
ÅNt

One Sleep till Eurovision Mania

So one sleep till it all begins...

But the less ''wet your pants'' exciting stories first... Number one I broke out the shorts today... despite it not being that warm, or even noticiably warmer than yesterday. And I think Eirik is about to cry over my disdane for grammar and proper language usage in all languages I'm exposed to (English being the number one... who cares about past participals... really). No I haven't looked at my tefl stuff while away yet, I probably should Eirik would be a great help (the irony being an Australian asking a Norwegian for grammar help in English).

I'm also slowly working out that my Norwegian is terrible, I can almost say Yes (Ja), No (Nei), Thanks (Takk) and One Beer (Un Ull)... But my spelling and writing is probably even worse than I think it is. I'm still trying to think and type phonetically... and I think I'm failing at it in such epic levels that the ''Maddog Poon'' expletives would be mindblowing. I'm still terrible with names, at best I'm just translating the name into the closest english equivalent to remember it... which doesn't work to well when it comes to saying the name. Although Jurgen isn't hard to remember or spell at all thanks to year 8 German class... One name down a half dozen to go.

I've got the address I'm staying at and the buslines to get here scrawled on a piece of paper in the hopes I won't get too lost. Maybe I should pin it to my shirt with ''if lost please return to...'' written above it? I feel like a bit like a child not trusted to stay still and not run away... Which whilst harsh to my 27 year old ego is probably the best way of describing me... I got so turned around today it was amazing... I have no idea if I'm coming or going, I am even having trouble orientating myself and finding North-South-East-West etc... Shocking...

So today I went and had a poke around the uni of Oslo and then took a trip to the nudity plaza and nudity bridge... It's not really what you think it is, but a plaza and a bridge surrounded with sculptures of naked people of all ages doing a heap of really random things... I look forward to bookface uploading then photos and tagging Anson, Suj and a host of others as people in these compromising pictures.

This was followed by some walking around in the Oslo equivalent of the North Shore, very big pretty houses and stuff with people very impressed with the area they're living in (apparently). A bbq dinner with a small group followed complete with a couple of games of Kubb (cube?) which I will forever more refer to as ''the Norwegian stick game. I'd like to think I was ok at it and was getting the hang of it by the end. For frisballers imagine a bigger more involved game of stubbyguts without the drinking and sticks instead of frisbees. It started to get darker and threaten rain then so we retired inside for me to get worked over in a few games of Flux and then absolutely BONNETED in a few games of cheat (despite teaching everyone both games and pulling off some balltearingly good cheat moves... Placing down 8 jacks in two turns and not getting called was great)

And in the big news... EUROVISION SEMI FINAL 1 TOMORROW... EXCITING

But I won't be able to blog about it (or at least the results) for a while because I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise for those of you sitting at ''home'' (reading this in the future... yet getting the eurovision in the past... fucking timezones and delayed telecasts).

So no results from me... but if anything you HAVE to see comes along I'll be sure (to be sure to be sure) to write about it.

Løve, Hugs ænd Kisses

ÅNt

(I love that I have to explain my tattoo to people over here too... Cmon ''ant'' it's obvious

Oh and for the first semi final I'm sitting in section 10... the set of sections back from where they have the little stage dongle poking into the crowd and one bay from the right... should have a good view of the stage and dongle...

The Eurovision 2010 Spectackylar

So I leave in two days and it's time to get started on the hype and speculation. Now I'll leave the WUCCs/Frisball hyping and speculation to their dedicated portals and pundits (insert shameless plug for FORCE SIDELINE and the likes here) and get on with what I know about... So channeling the catch phrase of this years Eurovision "Share the Moment" I thought I'd get talking about this year's Eurovision...

So rule one of Eurovision with Anthony... the Eurovision has NOTHING to do with Music... it's a complete social and geopolitical bonanza with a musical backing... So first off you need to cleanse your mind of all musical taste and desires... Go in with a blank pallet but an abundance of geopolitical awareness...

Rule two... you will never pick the winner first up... it's always a surprise. But by round 3-4 of the voting you can generally pick it thanks to the voting blocks... Basically regardless of the entry people always vote in SIMILAR patterns (ie the balkans all get together beforehand and decide which one of them gets the votes this year. The baltic block does the same. Cyprus ALWAYS votes for Greece. Norway/Sweden/Finland all vote for each other and noone votes for the UK except Ireland). But on top of that you have the current political tensions playing out... The Ukraine and Russia are always interesting, isn't it funny how the year Russia shuts off everyone's gas they win?

As such I was discussing the ramifications of the Greek/European financial crisis with the young yet learned Maximilian Von Halden and another dude whose name I forgot/never caught over the weekend. End result is Greece is normally a very consistent performer at Eurovision, possibly due to their sending of Sakis every second year ( and not forgetting it's minimum 10 points from Cyprus). But this year Greece has managed to get on the bad side of a large swathe of the EU and this will surely see a drop in their votes... at least from Western Europe (normally quite sympathetic to Greece). I don't think we shall see much of a change from the Balkan block however.
Anyway this year Greece are sending Giorgos Alkaios and his buddies to sing "Opa". I'm not wowed by this at all... Georgey baby looks like he's a bit older than he thinks/wants anyone to realise and the best way to cover it up is surround yourself by dancers jumping around. Regardless of the Economic situation I wouldn't back this for a win (even with the formidable voting blocks behind it) so seeing how it will do given the circumstances could be interesting. One bonus for that is we won't be subjected to the bankrupt Greek economy trying to host the Eurovision next year.

I also thought I'd look for a few past favs... just to get a heads up on what the cool kids are doing this year (in this case cool meaning "batshit insane"). First up... No Austria (again!) Needless to say I'm a little disappointed =(...
Now I haven't looked at ALL the entries (no need to ruin all my surprises) I just took a peak at a few of my personal favorite countries... you know those entries that you have a bit of anticipation for... So a true looney (such as Lordi) or the like could slip through here but these few always give me a bit of a tingle in my happy place when I hear them announced.
First up... Moldova... Now I can still remember their debut entry of "Grandmamma in a rocking chair with a drum" and they've never let me down before... So I was almost shocked with how sickeningly "eurovision conventional" Olia Tira and the Sunstroke Project seemed at first glance. Thankfully the slightly odd name got me thinking (Sunstroke Project? Really?) I guess sunlight and heat might be still in short supply in the backwater sections of the former USSR so sunstroke may not actually be something they've experienced and coupled with the song name of Run Away maybe they're hinting at a desire to nick off and get some sun... Now Oslo might not be the best choice, but I'm sure they could get to Amsterdam and then a connecting flight to almost anywhere they could want... But regardless of that I don't have high hopes for bizzaro schenanigans during this entry... Although Olia does appear to be quite attractive with the trademark "Eastern European eyes of death" (as so aptly described by a close friend of mine).

So to another solid performer in the "batshit" stakes... The Ukraine. Now if I was a little disappointed with Moldova I'm utterly shattered by the Ukraine. They entered a lone female singing a ballad! A Ballad for fuck's sake... What the fuck are the Ukraine doing entering this sort of shit... This is what we reserve for Cyprus or Bosnia or some other shitpot country... Not the mighty Ukraine of the hilarious WTF entry... Gone are the Cyber Trojans, gone is the tribal techno whip cracking glory of Ruslana and in with Alyosha and her "Sweet People". Now at least Olena Kucher (oh how I wish she was related to the much laughed at Ashton) had the pop stariness to give herself a stage name... But she didn't even insert a $ or some odd capitalisation... How can she be taken seriously now? Oh well... obviously she's pretty (and I probably didn't even need to say that).

So with a heavy heart I thought I might bump around a few other entries searching for hope... Romania are normally tastelessly sexed up so I gave them a look... No dice... But then I looked a little deeper. A dual piano act with some form of conjoined piano monstrosity (tick) and "playing with fire". Paula Seling and Ovi might be onto something... They had a few flashy fire tricks at the Romanian finals if this can't (and isn't) ramped up for the semi/final I will be disappointed... so some potential there.

Nipping over to a large fan site (not the official one) I found myself a leader board... Now obviously these things are untrustworthy on the net... but it showed me another few entries to look at Turkey appear to be the most popular... (back to their whack job best I see... no belly dancing this year though =( Armenia looked popular too... but having had a peak I'm not even going to bother posting the link... She's pretty and probably won Armenian Idol... you can imagine what it's like already. On that note Latvia looks hot too (in a purely gratuitously objectifying way... the song sucks)

So it appears female ballads are here to stay =( Violins/small string things you play with a bow may or may have remained "the new black" =| and "was that really their entry?" entries may not be in abundance... Does this mean HORROR OF HORRORS people are taking the Eurovision SERIOUSLY?
If so I'm going to cry...

Anyway... i may or may not write more before I leave

But that's a start... and so far I'm going for Turkey

Love, Hugs and Kisses
ANt